How to arouse my wife

Why Can't I Get Turned On? | Sexual Arousal Disorders

Why Can't I Get Turned On? | Sexual Arousal Disorders22 Nov. 2020

Are you wondering, "Why

Are you wondering, "Why can't I get turned on?", or think you might have a sexual arousal disorder? In this video, we sit down with Christian Sex Therapist Josh Spurlock to get his advice for anyone who experiences little or no sexual arousal.

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How can I turn up the heat so my wife desires me more? @Goodmenproject @AllanaPratt

How can I turn up the heat so my wife desires me more? @Goodmenproject @AllanaPratt9 Feb. 2018
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How can I turn up the

How can I turn up the heat so my wife desires me more? @Goodmenproject @AllanaPratt

Question:I've been married for almost 20 yrs and I couldn't imagine my life without my wife. We connect on every level but intimacy. She feels sex once a month is fine, it feels like once a quarter...I don't like that. How can I turn up the heat so she desires me more? 

Answer: Freaking love your question, great man! Given it takes two to tango… Here are my insights for you :-)

First from a woman’s perspective… there are some women who are not as kinesthetic or fulfilled by their sensuality or sacred sexuality. However more often than not the issue is that they are working too hard, giving too much and not taking time to replenish, not listening or being present or in tune with their bodies and not making it priority to enjoy the pleasure of being a woman.

So one thing you could do differently is to ensure there is space for your wife to see sexuality with you as something that’s nourishing and delicious and pleasure filled , not just one more thing on the to-do list to check off after the grocery shopping. You might also encourage her to have nights out with the girls, go to yoga class, enjoy painting or dancing or being in nature… or run a bath for her! Do things that would enhance her feminine energy of allowing and receiving. Make her sensuality and living from the overflow a priority.

The other side of it for you great man, would be to check into how you’re showing up in your masculine energy. Are you present, is your posture aligned? Are you grounded and centered which makes her feel seen and safe. When connecting, are you listening deeply? Are you penetrating her with your gaze, your noble heart and your sexual energy? Are you insisting upon date night once a week? When’s the last time you had a sensual weekend at a hotel or cabin in the woods? Do you know her love language? Are you either doing acts of service or praising her verbally or touching her the way she desires? Are you loving her in a way that works for her?

Lastly, whatever we prioritize in our life will grow and improve if we focus our time energy and resources on it, yes? Most of us have explored a fitness trainer or a financial advisor, yes? After a 20 year marriage… I would hope that you’ve had counseling or gone to workshops or done something to nourish the growth of your relationship, yes? If not or even if it's been a while... I highly recommend you apply for a complementary session with me and the three of us can get together and connect, talk, explore… See what’s possible in the realm of enhancing your sacred sexual connection for each of your vitality, intimacy and connection. It’s very healthy and wise to expand a good relationship to great, or a great relationship to glorious. We never “get there”… Life is a delicious journey of discovery, yes?

I look forward to hearing from you :-) Humongous blessings, Allana 

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Comments (9)

I’m the bread winner, I come home and do my sons homework, and after that make dinner. So what tha hell am I doing wrong because I’m 33 and I want sex 3 times a day and I’m at once or twice a month. It sucks

Douglas Smith

Great stuff, thank you Allana. You handle delicate emotional situations, with amazing communication ability. The dance, between loves, and lovers, long term is a dance that is like our own lives with aging, acceptance, recalculation, re prioritizing, renewing our spirit. Love the word "recreation" we go outside and play, and recreate. We "re-create" and enjoy "re-creation" This is why sitting on a large rock by the ocean in life is Sooooooo important.

Vincent Russell

Keep up the great work love... Vincent


If they connect so much, why is it his duty per say to go the extra mile in just the hope of being sexually active more often, and I say hope cause you speak of us/him making, or creating the right conditions. If this couple have suuh a great connection, you being a woman, where is your roll in this more intimacy, cause all I hear is men, men, men, do, do, do, and i just dont hear anything about the woman doing, except you excusing women why they won't get intimate more often, and us setting your mood. Sorry, if this a video to help men be intimate more often, it sure comes across as you saying women will always have an excuse of why they won't get more intimate more often regardless as you so eloquently just said that this couple connects at all levels, and yet the man can't get some more than once a month! (Shit a pay check comes more often)Dont take it as being rude pls, I think I've mentioned sex as intimacy a lot to not get confused. Where is this woman part, in all this, aside from the man having to create her condition. As a woman, and professional I would have thought that you would least throw something at the womans side in terms of doing, but I guess according to your expertise, is only him that has to put the work in, in Hope's of having done it at the right time, to get her juices flowing. So your final advise is. Men, if you have a great relationship with your beautiful women, or wife, and your connection is amazing at all levels, which it's not true because if it was, this man should, and pardon my French should be getting his you know what more than once a month, and the best you can do is tell that man to do more? Are you a man programmer or a helper of man? Blessing!

David Stojadinovic

Many thanks, I been tryin to find out about "how to romance a married woman" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Teyackenzie Cenarper Release - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my co-worker got excellent success with it.

Francis Platt

Very cool. Much appreciated.

Thomas Sutherland

Love a complimentary session. It’s great getting complimented. ;)

Serene Mountain

This is really an Honest Review of the Problem and the solution is pretty much highlighted in the video ! like 56

When two partners in a long term relation with different libidos start to reduce their sexual activities,
that's pretty much because the person with the Lowest libido is not feeling appreciated in their relation,
its pretty much psychological !

What can help change ? Like said in the video it will require great effort and resources, mainly love and patience !

I. More communication between the couple (" needs to improve ")

II. Putting your partners need's above your own ( "In a healthy/Balanced way" )

III. More Activities between the two, that both like to increase the Friendship and ultimately the romance
Something that is just for the two and nobody else !

IV. Be more kind, Take out the Trash, Clean the Dishes, Cook , make surprises, learn something new
to impress your partner, something that he or she it will like

V. Make more romantic efforts, spontaneous, not insistent , they need to be sporadic
Fancy Dinner, Fancy Home Cooked meal, Romantic Getaways, romantic walks in the Golden Hour !

VI. Value the little things in your life ... escape the routine if you can !

Love and Patience are Key

Anon amous

First of all, imagine your life without your wife. You have made your wife the center of your life. She does not want to be the center of your life. That's too much pressure on her. She wants you to be the center of your life. She wants you to lead, and she wants to follow you. If you make her the center of your life, that makes her the leader. And if she's the leader, that makes you the follower. She does not want to be married to a follower. She wants to be married to a leader.

So, imagine your life without your wife. What would you do? You would need to find another woman. If you're overweight the first thing you would do would be to go on a diet. So, go on a diet. I recommend a low-carb diet. The second thing you would do is go to the gym and start lifting weights. The third thing you would do is go to the trail and start running. Next, you would get a new flattering wardrobe. Then you would look up some of the guy friends that you have let fall by the wayside since you've been married. And you would start doing guy things with them. What would be the result of this? You would become the masculine leader who your wife wants to follow. The other woman you will find will be your wife, who is now hot for you.

As it stands now, you've been friend-zoned by your own wife. She loves you, but she's not in-love with you. What does that mean? That means she loves you like a brother, but not like a lover.

Why do women love bad boys and a**holes? Because bad boys and a**holes are so self-confident that they think only about themselves first. Can you imagine a bad boy or a**hole ever putting their girlfriend or wife first? That's what makes them the exciting leaders that women want to follow. By not putting your wife at the center of your life, you will make yourself a bad boy a**hole she will want to follow into the bedroom. Start the diet, start the lifts, start the running, start the living for yourself, start being self-confident and your wife will follow, because she wants a leader. And she will be the one dragging your bad boy a**hole self into the bedroom.