How long can a narcissist stay married

Should I Stay Married to a Narcissist? | My Husband is a Narcissist

Should I Stay Married to a Narcissist? | My Husband is a Narcissist7 Jul. 2020
5 764

If you feel like your

If you feel like your husband is a narcissist it's important for you to make sure that you get the proper support that you need to bounce back and to make sure that you regain a sense of well-being a sense of independence and really to make sure that you regain your confidence as well.

Free Quiz: Are You A Quality Partner?

00:50 - Tip No. 1 - Create a safe space and set boundaries

Narcissists love to blame their partners for everything. It's very easy to be blamed and to be caught up in a toxic situation where you ultimately lose track of reality. Narcissists tend to attack our sense of confidence and as a result, we are unable to set boundaries.

Tip No. 2 - Journal every day. Narcissists have a tendency of gaslighting us and making us feel like we're crazy but if you're journaling and keeping track of your victories your frustrations your anxieties at least you will create that safe place and you will be able to tell your story to yourself about what is actually happening in your marriage and you won't let your husband your significant other make you feel crazy.

05:31 - Tip No. 3 Remember the 80 20 rule. John Gray says that 80 of your happiness must come from you and 20 must come from your partner and that 20 is is there to make you happier. If you are becoming emotionally dependent co-dependent on your partner and on your relationship then you run the risk of going down a rabbit hole of toxicity.


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We are Happily Committed. Our mission is to help you make your relationship great. We are very thankful that you tuned in. We have tons and tons of resources at your disposal. This is who we are. This is what we do. We are Love Coaches. You can find free articles on our website A lot of articles on building confidence and strengthening your relationships You can find more videos on our YouTube channel Happily Committed. And you can also get programs and toolkits to help you get the support you need along the way.

#narcissismawareness #narcissisticabuse

Comments (34)

Thankyou so much great advise .
I love your channel so on point
Straight direct honest
Great job ?

Amatur Rahman

Hi, thanks for offering to help. I'm trying to figure if my husband is a narcissist. He's always trying to play tit for tat. He never sits in a discussion to find a solution, rather he waits for an opp3to pounce. Always defensive, in fact when he screamed for no more recently, and we all kept quiet and I gave him silent treatment for 5days, he came to me saying he doesn't know what he did wrong and he never did anything wrong and he can't take the silent treatment. Then he ranted, 'you don't feel I'm good enough. I'm just a failure.' Then he went on validating himself by telling the kids that see how mum has had issues with everyone, so everyone can't be wrong. He threatened with divorce and when i agreed now he wants to back off, in fact hes throwing it at me that I want a divorce. Now he's started fixing things of mine and trying to act nice in between, but still has outbursts of insults. He's been documenting things one sidedly to show others and try to prove himself as being calm and justified and that i am crazy. Pls advise. Thank you


I'm married for 22 years to a man who doesn't care neither for me Or me two kids one cerebral palsy and younger girl nephrotic syndrome. He lived with his mother until she died in 10/10/10.No financial help, no love, no support, now I want to leave him, he lives with us uses separate bed, has no relationship with me or my kids, depending on my merge salary, doesn't work. Made me and my kids lose all our friends. Makes life a living hell. He never speaks a single word the entire day. Please help me, I tried ending my life. Please, I need help. I am now 54 years old. Should I leave him? Please help?.

Kelly Hamelin

I don’t know how to set boundaries apparently.

Drena Morales

I am afraid to set boundaries with my husband because it will turn into a fight and I'll be back to square one and everything will be my fault

IndigoChildTarot 11

Yess he used to say that was yesterday to day a new day. Like im not entitled to have feelings or speak on what happened the day before. I started to gain my strength and focused on my self and starting my business.

Amanda Cooper

I'm pretty sure I'm married to a narcissist. Do they lie alot? I feel like I'm always investigating and I feel he has no remorse or empathy for anything and hes very secretive. When do you decide to leave the marriage?

Nicole R

Thank you very much for great information and explaining it so clearly

Infinite Tundra

My Mom and Sister are Narcissists. I can’t imagine being in a relationship with one too. Please for your own good...just leave.

l. w.

I think I've been married to a silent narcissist for 40 years...
Please respond and I'll give more details...thank you!


I've lived with a narc for 18 years. I have decided to leave but I don't know where to start, what to do
I've invested allot but I can't take it anymore

Shwetali Rajput

So today we had to go for my daughter's vaccination at 11 am..he himself got the appointment..then he slept off at 10:20 am ..and I got ready and all so that we can leave by 1045 am and tried to wake him up but he said give me 5 mins...I did let him sleep for another 15 mins and then woke him up..but again he wanted 5 more mins and then I got angry as I had my office and meetings lined up which I cud not afford to miss and told him that let's cancel for today and will go tomm nd u keep sleeping..then he woke up and started shouting at me saying that why do u always convey things in anger..why can't you speak properly ..what is wrong with u n ur he was trying to show me that something's wrong in me always.. never does he accept his mistakes and always pushes things on me..not sure if this is narcissism or not..plz reply

Tiffany Trhm

I'm so glad I found this video. I'm not alone. I couldn't figure out what the problem was in my marriage because my husband has a way of doing a thing like making feel like I'm wrong about something a lot, or it's my fault or I would not have done this if you would not have... And the famous if I'm wrong about something then you are wrong about something like he doesn't want all the focus of the wrong to be just on him alone although he would be the cause of something. I am praying for a way to learn how I should or should not deal with this situation but this is a great video! Thank You

im_mrs _yg

I am married to a narcissist, however I am extremely co dependent since I blame myself being so invested since were so young. I want out after 18 years. I’m constantly thinking I’m going crazy or am I crazy? Maybe I need medication, I started depression medication last year to keep my mouth shut, my feelings, my self, who I am and not have a say... I feel trapped don’t know where to start, anyway... venting since I see here thankfully I am not alone.

Nancy Villane

My husband is a narcissist. He always blaming me or lies when he is in a situation that hes caught in. Its very exhausting and mentally makes me depressed

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Eda Resit

Thank you for this video. Living with narcissistic person is really devastating and overwhelming

Faustina Amissah

Please contact me coach

Azúcar Weber

I seeing many videos which defines a narcissist I am confused.. am I a narcissist? Is my husband narcissist?
My only language to anger/upset:sadness is crying is that manipulative?

Paty Martinez

I’m almost sure my husband is a narcissist but I step back sometimes to think if maybe I’m the problem. I’ve taken measures to go to therapy and realized I’ve developed anxiety during my marriage. I’ve been married for a year and we have made great progress in creating boundaries, knowing what works and what doesn’t. My biggest issue is that he will make sure to pick a fight to prove a point and then say it was my fault. For example, I accidentally woke him up during the night and he got frustrated and went to sleep on the couch. He came back into the room to find me sleeping and made sure to slam the door on his way out. When i confronted him about why he slammed the door, his response was “you dont like it when people disrupt your sleep right? Now i cant sleep so now we’re both up” he blames it on how i was on my phone while in bed and the numerous times we’ve talked about not doing that. I guess my issue it that he went out of his way to get a sort of revenge and then essentially blamed me for causing this when he himself has said we shouldnt allow ourselves to blow up. I pointed out to him that he shouldve mentioned the problem before blowing up and causing an imbalance between us. I say imbalance because he’ll trickle this anger over for the next few days and disregards me. He’ll sluggishly do things if I ask but even then its with the least bit of effort. I, on the otherhand, am a bit of a free soul. I will forgive, learn, and forget and we move on, as I assume all healthy relationships should. I want to make this work as we have started to try to build a family but this like this make me take a step back.

Juan Trevino Jr.

I think my partner is a natssasist we’ve been together for 11 years and the past 2 or 3 years have been hell I don’t know what to do. What do I do for him to hate me if all I did nothing absolutely nothing wrong when he has been the one to step out.......... :(

Kathy Haga

When you set boundaries with a narcissist, they will become angry and discard you. But you will be better off without the narcissist. I suggest to anyone watching this to look up videos of recovering from narcisstic abuse, such as Michele Nieves, Narc survivor, narcology unscripted, Richard Grannon, Meredith Miller, Trace Face. These are all coaches that specialize in Narcissism and the abuse. I pray for your healing.

Alicia Larkins

I really like and understand your method of explaining. What exactly is a narcassistic spouse? I’m searching to improve my situation and I want to be aware of what’s what.

Lifebybooks mv

Hi all, I recently got married and all was good except with few fights and patch up. However I found a huge change in my husband's behavior after marriage. Our marriage was after 6 months of engagement ceremony (it is an arranged marriage). During those times, he was a perfect person any girl could want and a family could expect. But right after moving to my house after marriage (we were staying temporarily at my parents house in order to search for another apartment), he started being controlling. He restricted me in watching TV shows that are not of his interests, doesn't want me to have a lone time while he is around like browsing YouTube videos, never spent money from his pocket rather asked me to spend for his necessities, criticized my work accomplishments. Basically, he started to take things that I love to do and suppress me whenever I felt happy or criticized me for my achievements. And last but not least , he doesn't want to have kids soon or never and he keeps avoiding that conversation whenever I asked. After having hard time, I eventually started to do what he wanted. I took care of expenses, my work, cooking and so on. I started being dull , lost interest over working, lost self confidence, became bitter to my parents. After few months, we were planning to move to our new apartment and at the same time myself and my husband were applying for Canada PR. With respect to Canada PR, I am the primary applicant cause I have much higher score than his due to age, qualification. When all was fine, on July 15 ,I got a dreadful news that our Canadian PR application got cancelled due to incomplete application (I missed to check email updates that asked for additional payment and so rejected). I conveyed the news to my husband and there it is he started shouting at me saying "I am a failure", "I am unfortunate", and he felt ashmed about me. It was too much for me to take. I told my mom about the issue and when my mom spoke to him, he shouted at my mom disrespectfully. After some days he got convinced and things were back on track. However, whenever we had fights later he used to bring this issue and make me quiet. On August 28th, out of nowhere he told me he booked epass to travel to his hometown and want to relax. I said ok and felt may be he wanted some relaxation. Meanwhile I was setting up our new home. After he called my relatives and told he had problems with this marriage and have concerns about me and wanted to think if he wants to continue this marriage or not. My relatives and his relatives had discussions and I came to know he blamed me for all the fights by victimizing himself. He shared our bedroom talks to my relatives. I felt sick, betrayed and devastated. I started hating him and couldn't accept the betrayal. His family members are good so that they have advised to solve issues within ourselves but he doesn't want to come to me. He keeps calling me for small talks but I feel disrespected and so doesn't speak much. What do you think I should do? Is he waiting for me to leave him so that he can blame for that as well?

Tyle Wilson

Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone.
Which really provide enough evidence for me to file for divorce.
All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating and flirting with his phone. I read all his WhatsApp, Email ,Instagram and messages Including the deleted text and incoming messages. You can contact this wonderful hacker at "[email protected]"
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Fay Ceedat

Thank you. I am married to a covert narc for 40yrs. Only recently realized this. Working on myself.


Hello I need your help; I suspect m'y husband is narcistic; he very rarely helps me with All things related to cleaning the house or cooking; he never lets me get away from him even for two Months or 3, on holiday with my family; if he lets me go for 1 month he wants to know exactly where I am and with whom, at any given Time in the day; he made me refuse job offers abroad because je didn't trust I will come back when my contract is over; he never gives me any gift the last I received from him is 10 Months ago; he never wants to really have a conversation with me except when he's feeling low or he wants something from me in the bedroom; even when Im sick he rarely asks if I'm feeling better; hé also has total control over our kids allowances, I live in France and the kids receive money from the governenment, to help with their expenses; he never lets me touch that money; when we visit his family he makes sure that he never has a kind word towards me in front of them; what do you think ? Thank you

Adriel Caldon

I need help

chiko chiringa

Thanks for this

Faustina Amissah

Am married to a narcissistic husband i just realized that after 8years we have 3 little girls and am conflicted because my kids are attached to their dad and I just started school this fall after fighting so long to go back to school, if I leave I can't support my children he controls all the money in the house questions on what I use money for even if I spend a penny


What if I want to stay with my husband? We have a child and I don't want to do the co-parenting thing again. What would happen if I showed him this? He will never love me the way I have for him. I thought by showing him and treating him and modelling empathetic and kind behavior he would have done the same. But he just takes more and more.

Hardrickav Hardrick

Thank you for sharing about Journaling this technique works because it was then that I realize that my husband is a narcissist.

Patricia Zimmerlin

I would love some coaching but how can you possibly know someone's full situation in 1 hour? I guess these people have inexhaustible cash to pay those prices. ?

Jennifer Parker

My husband has narcissistic tendencies. We have been married for 4 years. Please contact me...I have questions.

How The Narcissistic Male Views Marriage

How The Narcissistic Male Views Marriage3 Jul. 2016
683 741

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Finally! A real girl to call all my own.

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The Narcissist You're Dating

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Comments (100)
B Bi

I've been married for 17years nearly and I've just realised hes a narc.. he got married as our religion allows this but he used this to his advantage, he wants me to accept everything and have a sister wife, he bes so cold, I feel like im going crazy everythings my fault and my behavior is effecting his 2nd marriage.. my behavior is very bad and I need 2 make a decision if I stay I have to obey what he says ... i have strong faith I want to leave but have children..

Briana Kelley

Marriage is a beard to cover ALL of the debauchery covert narcs enjoy. This explains my father and why he won't ever leave my mom. 

I love your breakdown! So insightful.

Lance Spencer

The phrase is over used, sorry to say ladies.

Some men aren’t narcs, they just aren’t in love with you. Some men are just lazy. Some men are depressed....narcissistic is a very specific character quality. It’s not just not being in love with you.


I wasn't a wife. I was an employee.
Ironically he is a CEO?


I battle mental illness my narcissistic husband is totally draning it's all about him his him and his...

Lynn Ross

Number 3 is so true!


My husband always had real relationships with mistresses. I am just a permanent in house assistant fitting the role well. After 25 years and another heartbreak I am done. His mistresses can keep him. He can keep paying the bills and for kids and I have decided to stay happy and live my life.

sarah mitchell

“I pay the bills and bust my ass for my family.” As he’s at work sitting on his ass on porn sites and local dating sites chatting up women.

Veerle Van Crombrugge

I got the house,the rings,the car,the wedding expenses, everything... After all.....he destructive stated, He stool everything I had.A real monster. WHAT a scam marriage it was. Even the kids .

Kendra Law

Mine wouldn't even provide a home he just wanted a personal assistant Financer, and occasional personal hooker...after 3 attempts by me to have a roof over our head(which he paid Nothing) I refused to keep being used like that so We lived in the Homeless Shelter tht he'd get it but HE WAS CONTEMPT WITH LIVING FREE AND IRRESPONSIBLE. I NOW live by myself in MY OWN place....after realizing HE WANTS A MOM called WIFE plus he used me as a Cover he's a DL Man.

Permission To Exist

Many women end up in toxic relationships this way:


"There you go. What else do you want?"

Blessed Frombeyond77

From,what I have observed this is beyond accurate.

Miss Taveras

If YOU are questioning you if you are with a Narc, know this is very accurate description. Even if you see " they love you because other wise he just wont do it for no one else but you" this people feel shame if someone look at them beneath. All they do is to show off, ppl see or think they on top. A person who loves some one wont cheat. As may like many ice cream but you have your fav brand or place you still choose the same even having the choice of different.


Marriage is not everyone its tough it hard and it will test the fiber of your very being. You can leave if your husband abuses you but if he aint dead you can not remarry it will be a sin before God and God dont care if you acquired a new family property. God will demand that you separate from your abomination of an adulterous fake covenant marriage which is of the devil and either reconcile with your first convenant spouse or be celibate for the rest of your life honoring your first covenant marriage.


Oh my gosh this is so real and true. ?

Michele J

The Narcissst I married stopped working and paying anything when I got pregnant with my first child.

Norte sur

The more i learn about people the more i fall in love with my parrot.. Greetings from Colombia South America.


I swear I looked for this content then realized I used the same PPTX template for a presentation lol. Thank you for the content.

Jenah Barbie Jones

10:13 I'm not against you in the narcissist thing because they are very mean and can be very cruel to people especially their spouses and children and etc. But when you said a husband is entitled to sex from his wife you are right about that he is the Bible says that when you get married his body is yours and your body is his and also the Bible says that when a man begetteth a wife he begetteth a possession. So that IS true but narcissists' wives and husband's have a right to leave them only because they are being abused by their spouse. But anything else God does not permit divorce nor withholding sex from your partner. And she IS his possession for life BUT if you not treat that possession correctly with love and care, then the Lord will say she can leave you.

tia acosta

my Narc husband left me when I was in chemo and in cancer treatment, even left me with no money, drained the account to go drinking. He is mad because i wanted hm to get a job but he wouldn't but he's ok with me being immuno compromised, out in the public doing gig work while he did nothing. we got in a huge fight about it and now i stayed three days in a motel. he hasn't been home and refuses to answer any texts FUCK HIM

Tenisha Bradley

My goodness so on point!!!!

Anita Verma

This is true. My feelings just got words. Thank you

lisa purnell

Wow.. That's crazy how much my husband is just like what was said in this video!. So sad and pathetic.

Jong Sku

The feeling of being love takes away so much burden from our shoulder. I had all this but I made a big mistake and my Lover left me for over 3 months I was lonely, sad and devastated luckily I was directed to a
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Doreen C

This is great and funny. Good info

Joyce Rouse

I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +19087998357 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together .
it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger..

Marian Singer

Coverts rarely put anything personal on social media because they are so secretive--mine is a Jekyll and Hyde personality


:( I think my fiance is a narcissist... I had my doubts but, I can see he is never going to be the husband I want in my life. Is so sad because I really love him but he won't stop using me. I am about to break the compromise I have with him. I thought I could forgive when I found out he cheated once, but the more we talk about that, the more I get he will just continue behaving badly and if I get married, it will just increase this behaviour as he would already have me guaranteed. I have to detach from this now.

PJ Hall

Please stay on topic. Time how many minutes you were off topic (There are narc women, Narc men talking to single women ......).

Rey Mohammed

There is the aspiring young professional, who marries a starter wife to go to work and put him through school (and maybe the start of his career), and then trades her in for an upscale model when he's establishing himself.

Carrie Hall

Laugh now cry later. Warning comes before destruction.

Narc Free

They believe they own us. Aht Aht! We are sounding an alarm ? on them, they will run out of victims if enough of us make enough noise. We will no longer slave for them and raise their babies, we will see them coming a mile away and avoid them before they can do any damage...

Tapiwa Lexis

I’m so traumatised due to my first narc relationship 2 years of pain! I pray all good women find good men . I never want to be with one or meet one again!??

ella e ef


Liz Romero

The "biblical references" you're talking about are not saying what you think they're saying.

Sophia Lewis

Sound is pretty awful

Kojo Boateng

No wonder men are checking out of marriage. Too much BS from these women out here.


My husband told me that he married me because he needed someone to take care of him and that I handle money well.This was after he told me that he would love and cherish me. Now his cell phone is more important He does not talk to me except if it has something g to do with him. Thank GOD FOR JESUS. I moved to a separate part of the house 9 years ago.? Too much to tell.

Mia Suzette

Luv luv luv ur take on this! In my book u are dead on target. This was my life for 30 yrs. I'm so happy to have learned what he's about. It's FREEING!!!!
Cuz iiiiii am the OK one!


6:56 yeah thats my life ur describing.

Lauren Ann

The male narcissist told me that he is looking for a wife and one of the reasons why he didn't want me to be his wife was because I haven't had many long term relationships and he didn't want to train me lol. I will never forget that haha. And I think any normal person would see somebody who has had many failed long term relationships as a red flag unless there were valid reasons for the break ups.

Caudill Caudill


Gigi Schuster

They prey on disabled women tell them they accept you and then next minute they criticize you for Self-Employed because of disability and how difficult it is to be around alot of people, belittles you, degrades you and says without him if parents pass you'll be homeless and useless, he'll want a Mother-maid not a girlfriend and for some the man might be hiding his illegal immigrants status and use you to get a Green Card and then when they get citizenship they leave you. Thanks to my finding out and got tired of the manchild routine I called off our engagement and then shit really got really it went from emotional and mental abuse to physical, I called ICE and told my priest was I found out protecting the wifebeater in our church and he was here in U.S 30 yrs. Illegal. To protect a parish member who is illegally here under the raider, tell me what he was hiding and then blame me for the wife beater and abusive behavior disgusted me to no ends. If I were the priest I'd report the guy as in our traditional Orthodox Church that behavior gets a man black listed. But nope he was allowed to stat at our church. My godmother from our church and friends at churcg came to my defense when the priest didn't black list my ex, even when my ex was trying with his buddies to spread rumours and make false accusations against me like my parents take care of me, and I can't think without them is utter bs. Thanks to my new relationship with a wonderful Russian boyfriend we are looking for another Orthodox Church.

Tiama Gutierrez-Duckett

This is my marriage in a nut shell! ??‍♀️ I filed for divorce the day before Thanksgiving after 15 years.

You're a lifesaver

Ohhhh the accuracy ?

God loves you so much

I think they also used being married to get woman

Alice Rayne

Like the one I use to be married to would tell me you are my wife I got papers on you! and that sex and food was all he cared

Josie Sandoval

Lmao Lazy entitled ass is right.

Krispy Piggy Sticks

We have five children ranging from 5-16, he expects the kids especially the older two and me to do everything in the house while he sits all day long. He’s always sitting. If anyone tells him no it’s hell to pay. He doesn’t cook expect for grilling maybe once every two months. He will load the dishwasher but the rest of the house all falls on me. He expects me to make his food, he acts like he can’t do anything for himself. My birthday I get nothing, his he expects $300 gifts. We don’t have a joint checking and I feel guilty for asking for anything. When I ask for money for doing all I do, he says you have your phone don’t you. He treats our oldest son who’s autistic awful and makes him do more chores than any of the other kids. He’s just lazy and hypocritical.

Romina Diaz

Nailing every point. Thank you ?. I am one of those wifes that will have to go to war in order to get her freedom and herself back. I wish everyday that this information was available 10 years ago (when I said yes) or at least I would have known about red flags, if I had known to do research and respect myself more I wouldn’t be here. I am grateful that you do this because it will prevent a lot of heartache to a lot of ladies out there. Let’s take care of each other, we are strong, we are beautiful, we are lovable.


Ok but I work 160 hours every two weeks, pay for everything and I maintain our home. If I'm paying for everything, and providing security and stability in her life, I would think it would be her "job" to take care of the house and 90% of kids. I mean, she doesn't have to work, unless she wanted to but thats the whole point of me providing, so she doesn't have to feel the stress of not making enough money to pay bills or contribute. I would think some women would appreciate that kind of thing. Its called hypergamy. Some women have called me a narcissist and I don't think I'm that. I can be arrogant, grandeous and manipulative but I'm definitely no bum and I don't get mad when my girl isn't in the mood to have sex with me.
Maybe I'm wrong but I just don't think I am.

I will admit that sometimes I will emotionally detach from the relationship when I don't feel like she's meeting me half way with what we agreed would be her part, I tend to think of ways on how to make her feel how she makes me feel. Maybe I am a narcissist but Its not always clear.

Lover-of TRuth

Wife cannot say no with a narc...he would just take what he want whenever he wanted it.. most disgusting feeling in the world.

Carrie Hall

No sane woman wants to be abused.

Sheila Williams

My husband is an immigrant and a narcissist. He never did anything immigration needs to declare it as a bonified marriage. I married him to bring his son to US. He was caught cheating and spending lots of money on these women. He was sent here to help take care of his family and he has not done this. He headlights his family and friends. He uses me for everything. All he feels he needs to do is work.

Sue Havlik

So true!!

miriam De Graaf

Not a chief operator; I was a cheap slave that should have been more grateful for the privilege to live with him.

Noelle Sumner

6:55... whew...

Sheena Lawrence

I know a woman who is married to a narc who pays all the bills but cheats like crazy..... but she seems to be happy and fine with it ??‍♀️

Joyce Reedy

My question I have always wanted to no is when a narcissist man goes through stuff such as something that don't go his way or he's just upset or mad about something, why does he take it out on everyone else? Not so much yelling or saying it's your fault I'm going through this but that they completely ignore everyone in the house and when he does talk to you it's hateful and almost like he's trying to make you feel like it IS your fault or he will not even look at you or even care that your around and walk right by you with a dirty look on his face like he hates you..why is that?? Why will a narcissist man go weeks sometimes months without sleeping in bed with his wife and then all of a sudden want to love on her? Does anyone have a answer to that? If so please let me no.

Digvijay Singh

I would say society makes people think like they are not credible if they are not married. In fact, 2 things make people think like that atleast in my case , firstly friends get married and you feel like it's hard to fit in with society without marriage and secondly, Peoppe keep saying your too old, you will never marry. Your age is getting higher and it does somehow scare me . Will I never get married all my life ? That thought is actually scary .
I feel like I am kind of narcissistic and trying to improve this . I guess it's ok if I am not married right now. I have to love myself and learn from life and respect everyone and their decisions . I am trying to improve and change .

Tove Irene Strand

Narcissistic males use marriage as a tool (role) of credibility. These males were horrible before they got married, and after marriage they used marriage as a tool of shame against women who weren't married yet. Nothing is for real in the world of a narcissist, it's all make believe, and the wife/woman has to take care of all practical work and responsibility in the home even if she is working too. Other people in the narcissist's life is regarded as the narcissist's property, not individuals with own needs and wants. Many of them find it easy to cheat.

Sateahs Wifii

This is my husband. He is leaving me tonight. He has cheated on me and lied to me and stolen from me and I somehow love him still. Idk why. I'm very confused. We've been together 10 years. ??im praying for all of us.

Sharon Jackson

Yup hit the nail on the head

Gmail Gmail

I gave up an aspie with narc traits. his current gf is doing everything: cooking, cleaning, full time work, sorting bills, etc....... he says she is a "bunny boiler". Er, I wonder why? lol

Aggeliki P.

At least I was wise enough to not marry him. At best I would get a ring from walmart


Been there, done that got the t shirt. No real partnership.

Inside the Mind Meditation

You are spot on. I heard all of this in couples counseling. Every last word of it including why he married me, how he had fulfilled his duties as a husband and how I didn't need love, friendship or romance as a wife whose only role was as COO of the household. The whole nine yards.

Ballerina Witch

A narcissist is such bad company. Thank God for the side chick to occupy him so the wife can actually be rid of his presence for a while ? You know she is someone who is suicidal, has a pitiful back story, an alcoholic, or some kind of total low life he is grooming to be his next supply. She is just pitiful. The wife certainly has nothing to be jealous of. Wives, just make sure you collect all the DNA, bank statements, photos, phone records and videos that prove the presence of the GF to use during discovery in court. Prepare for your blessing. If your husband is this much of a fool, use it to your advantage.

Pam Petrasek

Weird I watched a video yesterday saying 80% male and 20% women. Freaking internet lol


God peace and forgiveness be with you all

Soraya SA

Ok I’m Glad my husband does not have any of these qualities ?

Lover-of TRuth

I have lived through this ? for 6 years.. you are speaking truth

Zee Hussain

I feel it for all that have had Narcissistic partners especially in marriage, stay strong enough love and God bless

LW On the Rez

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Is THIS EVER TRUE...from my experience! My narcissistic ex would even CALL marriage “ The kitchen and the bedroom theory“. He actually voiced this. I experience what your video describes 99.999%. And the reason I leave that little percentage off is because he would never take “no” for an answer as far as sex goes (just like you said). However, his “demands“ were done in a strangely positive way. It was like I COULDN’T say “no”. He didn’t become irate or angry about it. [If I had said “no“, then I expect I would have seen a very different response.] But It was just a GIVEN. I’m not even sure HOW he did it. He still does it (even now) to his which they’re not allowed to say “no” to him. even the in-laws have fallen under his spell. One of them told me, “You’re just not able to say ‘no’ to him. No one is.” If there’s an event he wants them to attend, everyone is expected to attend. No exceptions. And they just know it. They feel it. No one says “no”. I’ve even seen multiple times when he has gotten out of traffic tickets because the law enforcement officer was not able to say “no“ to him. Is that ridiculous or WHAT!

Judith Alupot

Thank you so much for this video your presentation is incredible.


This GENUINELY just sounds like most men in general.

Darice Ormerod

Yes my husband refuses to go to the dr ! all this sounds identical to my husband ! It makes perfect sense! When I got sick with crohns deaise and could no longer cook and clean has much as before he started putting me down constantly! Name calling list goes on and on !

Stephanie Gudino

This is so true!

Teshuah Yisre'al

This may sound bad but i need to purge My soul
I met a narcs n was friends he was in a relationship n said she was trapping him n he was down n out n really wanted to leave her so i tried to help than he start acting like he was falling inlove with me we began dating n he claim they broke up n he moved out so i pretty much told him we had to marry he got a ring i later found was fake n because of covid said lets take our vows at home n we did i had 3 vows n he had a list of vows he start pouring out im like whoa idk you love me like that later would be a list of vows he would break in one day than next day i see a group text of a woman looking for him claiming to be his gf n he was missing for a week unknown to me he had group texted us about of course him needing support to start his business i later found out he had 3 other women n was still cheating with the woman he claim he hated n never wanted long story short i saw both sides the side of being a mistress n being a fake wife n she right as his friend aka mistress hanging out talking about his gf problems n my bf issues we had fun but once we got serious he became broke n i was the source of fun he would just show up to events n complain or not help just stand there
Im happy city hall was closed due to covid on our set wedding date because he was hell than after i found out he had 3 gf he say why havent you moved on if you saw i cheated everyone else did i moved on n on my very first date my date drops me off n i see my Ex driving by my date waits for me to go in i pretended i did n came back out to see my Ex driving back pass my house again ..found out he had been stalking me n i had no idea because i blocked him n thought he was happy with his 3 gfs mind you he was drivingg another woman's car his so call gf n when i confronted him he claim he wanted to see his son at 12:00 at night ..lies now he claim he inlove with someone n happy its only been 3months since he was stalking me in another woman car so how are you inlove when you said you didnt love any of us you didnt know how to..i wish i never met satan he ruin my life but im free in spirit i have to relearn empathy because now im afraid to feel for others because i felt bad for him he was always getting hurt or ppl dying every week literally or him not finding a job or his family being what i know now are Narcs ...never change yourselves for a person not willing to correct one lil thing about themself it took 9yrs to found out he was horrible


the day i kicked him out he said... if i was gonna pack his stuff??????????????????

Bobby Smith

This just explained 18 years of my life I recently just got out but he's not doing well at all but I wouldn't know anymore but I know he was doing bad before the split


Women do say these things to guys.

This author doesn't know what she's talking about.

She IsMe

This described my "husband" from head to toe. After 12 years of marriage and 17 years together, I've recently come to the realization that I in fact married a narcissist. This 18 minute presentation could have saved me a lifetime of hurtful, painful, infidelity filled, embarassing sham of a marriage that I am now trying to maneuver my way out of with as much grace as possible. Thank you for this. Better a late realization than never realizing at all!

Cielo P

But I don't trust him to rise my little girl, he wants his narcisistic mother come and rise our girl, no thanks

janine alexander

Another reason to marry: to cover up his perverse behavior.... I found porn in every room of my house.... condoms in strange places and his work satchel. Over 30 contacts on his phone..... after we married...... oh and the laptop fetishes?
There’s more..... he’s really a sick man.
And we’re separated..... so watch out women and men...... he’s


This is so spot on! Thank you so much for making this video. So helpful!! ❤

K Martins

Your description is so precise. They belittle single women and they also put their wives in the middle of the triangulation. Some of these women are also narcissists, they play the game. I sadly met a quite toxic family like that. When you are conscious of this idiot triangulation you just laugh. Narc family. They use their kids to feel superior in front of a single woman and what they dont know is that you are happy for not being part of these narc toxic family. Laugh and run run fast as you can. Narcisism is a serious mental health problem, I suggest people don't be trapped in their games. They are so lunatic that they don't mind to use their own kids in their games. If someone wants to know an evil person just see a narcissists behaviour, they don't have limit. Is a serious disease and get worst during the years as narcs dont accept mental health treatments.

Carrie Hall

My sister has got herself in a relationship with a man like this.

Sofia Marrian

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Carrie Hall

No means No

janine alexander

Another reason to marry: to cover up his perverse behavior.... I found porn in every room of my house.... condoms in strange places and his work satchel. Over 30 contacts on his phone..... after we married...... oh and the laptop fetishes?
There’s more..... he’s really a sick man.
And we’re separated..... so watch out women and men...... he’s indusxriminate

rinki nandy

Narcs want only a mother who can play wife once a while. They can be attracted to older women to abuse, to go fishing with young girls, a doormat who d never leave her child.

Wings of An Eagle

She's not turned on by your lazy entitled ass....???ain't that the truth!

Roli Jain

Whenever they say you are a loser . You are nothing and know nothing.
Roast : you have a wife that is a loser , i married a man that is super cool...
So who is better ?

Iam better off with a husband like you and you are loser with a wife like me

Since they see u as objects and possesion , they can only understand the value if ownership of objects. Always think about trading , business of goods with them. You can trade obje ts, property, places but not emotions. So just know there never will be exchange of emotions or any team work. There ia only trade of power, position and ownership

Andrew Herndon

Yep I seen this from guys growing up and didn't want to be that way sadly I ended up married to a girl who did this to me for 10years I left after she started to hit me every day

Zakia Adnan

This is so accurate

Deborah Oliver


Tripti Poswal

Correct hundred percent

Kendra Law


How The Narcissist Maintains Long Term Relationships

How The Narcissist Maintains Long Term Relationships27 Apr. 2019
7 037

This video discusses why

This video discusses why the narc is still with the new supply and how they are able to maintain long term relationships.


Please watch: "Ask Ama: Narcissistic Family Members"


Comments (71)
Tammy Foster-Sapanara

So great to see you Ama! Your videos are some of the first I found when I realized what I was dealing with. His new supply lives over an hour away. He likes that. The ones that he was sexting and trying to cheat with all lived out of our area. Not all but most. He was cheating from the get go. I live close by and you are right, it irritated him that I was always around and he couldn't creep like he wants to.I busted him constantly and became a combatant and that was a no-no. I discarded almost 5 months ago. Complete NO CONTACT! Through therapy, meditation, self care and exercise I am re-born. No more sleepless nights wandering what he is doing, no more mental and emotional abuse, no more sexual abuse, no more of his shit! I took my life and my power back. Thank you for sharing your journey of healing. These videos are a lifesaver for so many of us.

Shar Hughes

The New Supply puts up with the behavior of the Narcissist they become a shell of their former self they then drank the Kool-Aide until they found out they've been duped into the fake interaction they thought was a relationship, the Monster will become bored because your not giving out that potent fuel anymore because their doing things to you that's not normal human behaivor! RUN forreal!

Glitterbox Glitterbox

Because they can get away with more cheating and abuse than!

Irina Irina

Hello Ama! Thank you so much for the work that you do. Maybe you can make a video about having anxiety about an ex-narc. I have to coparent with him, but just getting a phone call from him or seeing him when picking my son triggers a huge panic attack. Maybe someone has similar situation, how do you deal with that? Will appriciate your answers!


They are a good actress, they pretend to be happy on the outside yet suffering on the inside. I couldn't be with someone who is abusive to his dog and uses fear and punishment as a way to control. He used the same tactic to control women, fear, and control, silent treatment to gain control and so on. I think the new supply is good at pretending, and faking it, where I wasn't.

Glitterbox Glitterbox

Omg! And thank you for helping me to move on i sure needed to hear this again!

Glitterbox Glitterbox

Yeah it is, the script i gotcha’ than!


Welcome back Ama!!

Essene Sea

The only thing you guys can work on is 1. Identify them sooner and 2. Dump them sooner


Hey Ama, I missed your videos!
Your words have often stayed with me after I watched them, so I’m really glad you’re back! :)

Queen Trayce

Hello u are beautiful..... ur how to get revenge on a narc is always on repeat over here it helps me daily thanku

Tracy Usher

This video is such a blessing .....thank you

monica Cruz

This i# such a useful video for that ‘letting go’ stage. You’re starting to see that it’s not some failing of yours. The next stage is the difficult bit, taking responsibility for your part, or on a deeper level, realizing the source of your vulnerability, that is, why are you attracted to these types, this type of relating. In my case it is my distant relationship with my (narcissistic) mother. Thank you, this video is full of useful ideas , a spring board for healing ?

Sweaters_and _Harmony

Just found your channel, girl. I love it!! Keep doing what you are doing b/c you have a gift.

Betty Carmella

"Part of their praise team!"??? yes! They want worship!

Kaye Slayde

Where you been Amaaaaaaa?!?!? So good to see your face!!! Now you can show these “newbie narc coaches” how it’s done!!!! Welcome back ❤️!!!

marion achu

Thank u so much ,I’m in a 3 year relationship with the worst Narc ever and we have a beautiful daughter ,but I think it’s time for me to move out that door ,and what hit me was the long distance part , I’m happy I found u


His new girl is brunette, long dark hair and brazilian like me...

Dr. Irene Pantelidi

am going through recovery from narcissistic abuse, thankfully i stopped it sooner than later ....within 7 months or so...... no wonder how i ended up with the worst narcissist ever, since am a therapist....he hooked me up with the victimization technique....he was jobless at the time so my inner 'savior' mode kicked in, but am not a narcissist, am just a natural empath prone to have co-depended relationships....and that was the worse.....the wake up call for me to heal and change......he stole/cheated/ used and abused me/ beaten me up......i refused to be a victim....he has a sentence of two years in jail ....however he run away from the he acts as the savior to a poor illegal immigrant that i do feel so sorry for her.....3 weeks into the relationship she is moving in with him in his country.... so to save her (so to torture her)....she has no clue what she is signing for......all this happened when i went no contact, he downgraded following my discard and the narc injury i caused him...... how do i know about the new supply? he got a new mob number and videocalled me .....i went again no contact, blocked him from everywhere.......what i wanted to say is that during my healing phase i listen to other survivors of narcissistic are the one who brought me tears in my really touched me with your ways....thank you! god bless you carry on inspiring and supporting people! t
keep on girl!!! love and positive energy from greece xxxx

Mariposa axy

I can't use that narc lives together w the new supply for the last 2 years. Maybe he did change? or new supply understands him? Mayby he wasn't a narc and it was just me ?


I dated him for 4 months and saw so many red flags. He said "All of my past relationships were over 1 year." I thought...HOW?? How did they last so long with him when hes been such a jerk to me and the love bombing phase only lasted 2 months at the most? Blows my mind.


Yup they don’t really want you around .That is why long distance works for them because they can act like a fake person for a short amount of time they actually see you.True colors come out when you live with them.

Parris Synergy

I’m a 71 year old man with a desperate need to survive an extremely mental abusive marriage. My wife of a 9 year marriage is totally disabled; we have a son whom is 9 years old a wonderful and bright minded little guy that l love with my life. This environment is very unhealthy for him and I’m extremely broken and unhappy. When i married her she was disabled; starting a relationship with her was very awkward to say the less, however, that’s history. I bought a home 2 years ago with great intentions that would provide something good for them both. I’ve actually been full time caregiver to her and my boy since the day He was born. I should had ran away from her long before now but something wouldn’t let me leave her. I truly must go away from her that I may save my life/ sanity and for the mental health of my baby boy. I don’t know how to leave without destroying my credit for I’m deep in debt plus the house which she can’t pay for without me. She is extremely abusive and she doesn’t treat my boy fair either. I’m totally lost in this situation and can’t find my way out. Everything I’ve read and heard about Narcissistic personality disorder fits her total profile; she is drenched in every aspect of the disorder, and I’m lost in the jungle of the web as a prisoner of all the misery she impose on me and she seem to enjoy every moment of it while insisting that I’m the problem. I won’t attempt to share with you all the great things I’ve done for her; but I will say, all I ever wanted was to love her, fill in some gaps, build some bridges and make life for her as normal as possible. Please help me, I’m in a desperate situation, my life and my boys life is certainly at stake. Help!!
I know you may be saying, why don’t he just leave; but it’s a lot at stake and it’s not quite that simple. I need answers perhaps I don’t yet have.


Spot on with the test!! Looking back I put up with so much crap from the XN....until I put my foot down and I got pregnant..devaluation started! Ended up with the discard. He’s been with his current supply whose almost 20 years older than me, for over a year...I don’t know how this woman does it!!!

Darnesia Cochran

Narcissists are out there and they can be anywhere around you. It is important that you recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and act accordingly. When my husband started getting frequent night calls , I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant. At a time i could take no more of his lies, I decided l deserve to know what was going on. A friend of mine referred me to a private investigator ( Cyber hacking sage) who helped clone his phone and now, I'm able to file for divorce with lots of evidence against him. All I did was send his phone number to Cyber hacking sage and through a remote link sent to my mail, I was able to access all of his texts, calls and social media messages (incoming, outgoing and deleted) as if the phone was physically with me. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity. I’m here in Florida and able to access my husband’s phone, even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help or you just crave that extra teeny bit of closure, I urge you get in touch with them Via Gmail ( [email protected] com) or text and WhatsApp them on +15713758467. I hope you find peace.

Shelly-Ann John

Oh my hi alma wow long time i am happy you are back wow you look great wow love you blessings to you.???

Essene Sea

Exactly! When they say “we were together 8 years”, it means 2 months bc the rest was on and off, mostly off. Also, creatures think you’re still together long after you dropped them. They don’t have any relationships, they are running Games on you and a few others at the same time. They’re simply insane. Run!

L. Love

You are 100% on point with this

Angie Cripps

mine is a truck driver

Me Andu

you are so right we lasted 10 years because I'm not close by to him, he left me after I refused to give up a pen pal cray cray

JustLima Limaa

I’m in a long distance relationship n I see him very year but when I do get to see him if I dnt give him what he wants he starts a tantrum or hits me with silent treatment...does that make him a narcissist??

deb vankoughnet

So glad you are back !!! Missed your videos !!!

Michelle Meow

This is great. Insightful. Thank you.

Cheryl Wolfert

I feel really stupid I lasted six years than he totally deystroyed my whole life

Dharma Kitty

I was long distance for 8 years! It was awful...still trying to get over it. And I left a really good husband for him. I feel like I'm dying...


Wow where were you 6 years ago when I started my long distance relationship with the narc? It was the best time of my life!! Trips every month, lavish gifts and everything else that I ever dreamed of. My God I wish I knew you before I moved in with him. Lesson learned and six years later we are divorcing. Most difficult time of my life. My God I have chills.

Anquannet Wright

Thank you Ama.

Glitterbox Glitterbox

Ah; ok like an illusion than right? I got it than!

reeta rhodes


Couldn’t quite put my finger on why the visitation time became so far few and In between.
This makes so much since now.

Thank you Ama for helping me to understand this particular stage more clearly!!!

Orienthia Smith

Preach Ama ??

Charlene DeShazier

I told my ex I wanted honesty, love, respect, loyalty etc the bare minimum & he had the audacity to say nah that’s doing too much! I was over it

Glitterbox Glitterbox

Thats why IM so mad at myself cus i knew he was cheating even though incouldn’t prove it i should’ve lasten to my instincts but i didn’t cus i still loved him and felt a connection with him but i guess i was wrong still!

Grace Kelly

Married a narc got kicked out after 4 years and the new girl moved in! He will make sure it lasts because it’s all image for him how he is looked upon by others. He needs to be held in high regard. I was a shadow of myself when I left with the kids and he looked great ?. He took the house put debt onto me that wasn’t mines turned my daughter against me and fiddled the books so he pays next to nothing for maintenance. A blessing ? thanks Ama

Venita Allen

Yes, I have been cheated on from a few of my exes. It was heartbreaking. The worst feeling in the world. I was that woman that was loyal, kind, caring, loving , took great care of them, and had no problems in the bedroom whatsoever. But for some reason I guess that wasn’t enough for them. I would always find out if they cheated. I would see a total behavioral change. They would go into the bathroom with their phone and talk with the door closed, ignore my calls, not hear from them for about two days. I’m glad I took the step of contacting Greatermind hacker. He got all the proof I needed from their iphone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram, as far back as 2 years without having access to his phone. He does all sorts of hacking, giving you 100% Spy access to your target’s device. I owe it to Greatermindhacker, He's available 24HOURS. Just Call OR Text +16194310306 and On WhatsApp +12626837511. Contact him for closure greatermindhacker AT ... Narcissism is really awful.

Paulette Felix

you are on point....


14 years “together”. Not a long distance relationship but still non-committal. I was so managed down. He “lived” with me but still had his own place. Not one step forward in all those years but I was so managed down that I accepted it just to have the breadcrumbs. I was so tired of his bullshit by the end of it which resulted in my discard. That was God’s gift to me. I would have never walked away because I had invested so much. I thank God every day for his divine intervention. The narc went right into another relationship. May God help her!

Plum Duff

Great work ama

Syl van der Does

You're so right!! So he brought his Playboy and I wouldn't put up with that so the end :)


12 yrs he's been with her.

ya girl Torey Leigh

How?! Lol, they find and groom us codependent empaths into tolerating their Narcopathic Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde behinds!! Girl, I'm trying, one day I wake up feeling great and optimistic and the next day I wanna squeeze his privates with all my strenght until they bust open to the white meat??Wheww chile, I need to hurry up and get this divorce!!

Dreene JustMe

After over a year of flunking his shit tests, and 7 discards, I hope that my brain has finally absorbed the fact that this man does not love me!
I flunked my last one this week. Last night, over the phone, he drained my spirit, for 4 hours. Why was I still hearing him out? What's wrong with me? I AM THAT EMPTY SHELL! ? He told me last night that I'm a hopeless broken woman. I am.
....And yes, Ama, it was a long distance relationship. I've never heard anyone else say this about narcissists and long distance relationships! Everything you stated about that, was spot on! My jaw hit the floor!
Everything is falling into place.

Yuri Japanese Beauty

I think you are the most insightful person ever!

Rahel T Rocca

You’ve come so far gurl Yah bless u

Zeanna Lauer

I have been with a covert narcissist since 1998. My mom is a covert narcissist. I am now realizing it has been a game between my mom and him. My mom has not seen our 3 year old daughter yet. I am trying to figure out a way to get my daughter and I away from him.


Thank you so much. It helps me a lot

Claire Marie

Now that Im healthy and healed. I realise all his GF's have some kind of insecurity; obesity, mental illness, low self esteem, rejected, abused by their family etc. He love bombs them makes them feel accepted and a new person. Gets the women to give and do everything for him. Then he runs circles around them, cheating in secret in everyway he can. And knows how to emotionally manipulate them and deeply emotionally hurt them as punishment when they start suspecting and questioning his behaviour.

Terry Howard

I've been missing you! Love your video!!!

Amanda Laurent

Best video yet, Ama!!! I fell into the long distance trap twice with two narcs and everything you said is SPOT ON. Thankfully the second time I was able to see it much faster. I will never get involved in a LDR ever again. As a friend of mine said, you need boots on the ground. And this scenario is just a breeding ground for Narcissistic Abuse. Glad you’re making videos again!!! You’re an amazing blessing. Xo


Yes, yes, yes. Omg Ama... EVERYTHING you said is what I, a current doctoral student, 46, went thru for 4 months, Nov last year till April 6th this year. He is a truck driver. It was a long distance mostly over video chatting daily. Only spent time in person 3 times. He called me all day, everyday. Love bombing was excessive. And then he'd pull silent treatments when I checked him on his behavior. Then re-do again. I went no contact for a week after he did a silent treatment for a day on me and then spoke to me terribly when his I'm sorry was not enough for me. He then emailed, because he was blocked on my phone, his test results in which he learned he was a diabetic. Something I suspected and spoke to him about numerous times, getting a healthier life style. He wouldn't be able to be re-licensed to drive his truck until he got his blood sugar levels down. So, he sucked me back in, a little. Started the non stop calling again. But, when I kept trying to get him to eat right, exercise and stop smoking and drinking because that could never work living with me or for his health, frankly, he got someone else's urine to use to pass his blood sugar test and get reinstated to drive again. He discarded me the next day. Now that I have educated myself on narcissism, all I can say is Hallelujah, thank you Lord. I know this will only be a part of my greater testimony, and used in my purpose, as an educator and social entrepreneur, to empower others. But yes, it was a very, very emotionally draining 4 months. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I saw the red flags too from week one with him, but.... idk why I continued dealing with him, consciously knowing he would never be right for me. I have learned a valuable lesson and am recovering from this weird hazy feeling sort of left on me (can't put into words). I don't know how people could do years with a textbook narc. smh... Thank you Ama for affirming me. I feel like nobody will understand or believe what I went thru. They just think it was a regular kind of jerk guy who is simply labeled as "so he is just not the one" type thing. But, it is so much more. My concentration in my doctoral program has been affected a bit too. I'm mad and sad at times, mostly with and about myself. Thanks again Ama! ??????

Glitterbox Glitterbox

Hi; there ama!

Plum Duff

8 years with my female narc now its ended..guess what my new one has similar traits

EyeOff TheTiger

I never took it personally. I'm glad he is gone. The discard was a BLESSING ?good to see you back Ama?


Was married to one. After we met, he went away to school in another state; returned and we married against my better judgment because I found out that he was dating someone there. Married him because my mother said, "men do these things. Don't let her get him". Really bad advice. I didn't want him after that. Marriage was soured for me; and, he was always complaining. I just ignored him. He told me one day, "I can go without speaking to people for days". My thought was, GOOD. I don't have to be bothered with you. While married to me he went away to school in another state for 3 years and returned. Stayed together for a few years, then he left to return to Africa for a job, because he could not get a job here in the US with his skillset. Actually, I was glad to be rid of him. Two children were born of this relationship. He was gone when the first child was born; even though I told him the due date. He didn't believe me. When the second child was born he returned for the birth and stayed for 2 years, about. When he went back, he stayed for several years; and returned during the Christmas season. I told him then this was not working for me. I wanted a divorce. He refused but I got the divorce anyway. However, when I told him I didn't want him or wanted to be bothered, he sent for the women he had been involved with in Africa, and tried to keep it a secret. I found out. I told him he was a bigamist. She said, he is her husband. I went no contact, got the divorce, moved and went on with my life. He hoovered for 2 years, asking me to come back. I stayed calm, said you got what you wanted. I am finished. Finally he shouted over the phone, "Why did you marry me if you never loved me"? He said if you don't come back, I am going to marry her. I said go ahead. I am finished. Even to this day, he is still saying, "People get back together (meaning him and me). I had a beautiful wife." Sad man. The current wife has no voice, does what he says. People say she is like a slave in the house. He could not control me to the degree he wanted. He was jealous and envious; and to this day he still is.


Beware of truck drivers who actually live with you. They can live a separate life and you won't know it.

Dragon Fly

New supply is the version of me when first meeting the Narcissist. Blind to his BS. The me today can see through his BS.

Essene Sea

The new Supply is a Clone

Donna Canadas

I didn't know i was in a narcissist and you right we was in a long distance relationship yet we lived not to far away


Yes I would only see him on weekends his work and work was hectic during week, so seeing him sat and sun was how I was able to stay with him for 2 years. They would be many red flag. But I kept going back. I finally left and he flaunted his girl on social media and would be seen out parting on the weekend. I wasted 2 years with him, only to be devalued and disrespected.

Kitty Kat

I always felt something was inherently wrong with me! I have been trying to fix myself because I felt soooo unacceptable. Thank you for helping me put it together that it was my narc mom who saw only flaws no matter how hard I tried.

Nina May

Welcome back, I missed your videos. Listening to your encouraging words made me realise how much peace and health has returned since I have been no contact (nearly 3 years), I definitely agree with what you say, and encourage you to make more videos about how your perception will change when you get free. No longer will it hurt, and each day of freedom is a blessing

Brenda BaBoom

My friend’s Narc “flourished” in their long distance relationship because she become the PARTY girl and he was the party guy...having a hallelujah good time twice a month for 7 years! It finally dawned on her this one-dimensional existence was just an ILLUSION.