How to become friends with a guy

How To Be Friends With Guys (And Nothing More)

How To Be Friends With Guys (And Nothing More)14 Aug. 2018
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‘How To Be Friends With

‘How To Be Friends With Guys (And Nothing More)’

It’s hard to know how to set boundaries in friendships. Especially with guys. Lines get blurred and you end up falling for the guy. Or the guy ends up falling for you. Today we’re talking about what’s okay in a guy/girl friendship and how to keep your relationship healthy and pure!

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Comments (100)

I’ve tried to make friends with guys. I try to make friends with The ones who don’t say cuss words or do any nasty stuff, but they never want to talk to me. I’m nice to them but they don’t want to be friends. I’ve only gotten guy friends who say cuss words and talk about nasty stuff and I HATE all of that. I’m a Christian as well (a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or Mormons) I do still text a guy but he lives ten hours away. He’s the only good one I’ve got. Same with another one. I connect with guys better but I only have one really good girl friend who I hang out with a lot

Shala Lala

I just have trouble with this video because with all these standards and barriers, how do you actually develop attraction? People that share these values have a good starting ground for developing a relationship but we can be bred to think that's not very "spiritual" These things make it stand out when you're interested in someone because you normally don't allow any conversations to go deeper or whatever else. How do you get to know someone you're interested in, as a friend first? I don't completely disagree, I think you have to guard a person's heart, I just think we can over do it too and then you end up with a group of friends who basically won't enter relationships because they're so worried abbot how they appear in all these standards. I hope that makes sense. I think this happens in my circle of friends. A lot of times, even when we're all in a group setting, the guys all huddle together and the girls all huddle together, trying to keep close to the same gender and not get too personal with the opposite.

makaila mcdaniel

What even is this? Yikes.

Johannah Karon

you guys are awesome! You have given me some good advice for something I’m going through right now so thank you ?

Tea Gallant

My gal friend and i do have many guy friends and we do hug them and talk to them one on one whenever but i think I what makes it ok is that none of them are our end all be all best friends (we go to each other for the hard stuff) and that we are always together (i.e. me her and a guy) or in a bigger group and from time to time we do facetime some of them one on one but always tell eachother o i ft so an so~ig what im tryin to say is tht we keep eachother accountable in a way but idk y im sharin??also boudariess are essentialll cuz even in groups things can go ????and we’ve learned as time has gone by

adila salcinovic

can someone please help me?
so i know this guy from my class and i wanna be friends but im not sure if he wants to, cuz he dont seem that interested but he talks a bit w me, i wanna start a convo so bad but every time, i overthink what im gonna say and most of the time i dont know how to start a convo, like, we dont have any subjects we talked about nor any inside jokes. all i know about him is that he plays soccer, and i dont know how to start a convo w that, and he plays video games ofc and i know nothing about it again, so
i think my problem is that i overthink if he’s interested so at the end i dont do anything, plus i overthink how i probably look boring when actually im very interesting person once u get to know me

and also being in a group of friends with him is impossible in my case cuz i first dont have a lot friends, that would only work out if he’d invite me to his friend group but first we need to actually be friends but h o w ?

Chev Chelios

are you guys gay?

Vera Subliminals

My tip: (This got me 4 guys talking to me for the past 3 days) You have to get used to weird jokes. Boys will be boys and they will make inappropriate jokes (you know what I’m talking about) and in one day after starting convos with a few boys, I got used to the jokes ? And now it’s been 3 days and I genuinely find those types of jokes funny and I understand boy’s behaviour now ??‍♀️ So yeah!

Eldritch Velvet

Yo, what about doing more of the shoulder bump bro hug?

Not really sure how to describe the start, but its like a high 5 into a pull so your opposite shoulders bump, with a hand tap on the upper back.

I don't always like being touched, but that has always been my go to with casual acquaintances. Its a hug, but not overly touch and doesn't last more than like 5 seconds from start to finish.

Also, even as far as being an unbeliever, it's really hard to best best friends with the opposite sex, especially if you play into your sex's stereotypes. I've only found that one can be best friends across genders if either the woman is more masculine or the guy is more feminine. Otherwise, most girls just don't get a lot of guy humor, and guys find it really hard to relate to the struggles of being a girl. I'm really harsh with my boys, we roast each other A LOT, but their girlfriends think we're being mean even though we know that we love each other


Kentucky ur so cute! ?

Jason Tlaige

Morgan is not in this video because she's out with a guy who is just a friend


I think a girl shouldn't have a dude as her BFF. Like, how is that not gonna go south? Thanks for sharing, guys!

butter cup

Idk i can open up to any of my friends without feelings so i dont fully agree

Christy Thomas

I totally agree that it isn’t possibly to be best friends with a guy without developing feelings. I heard it from an older friend of mine and told myself that I was the exception; lo and behold, things got VERY messy with my guy best friend who I shared EVERYTHING to. It was admittedly difficult for me to open up to girls because all my life I’ve gotten along with guys more. However, from that super painful situation, I learned that it is the absolute best for anyone to keep boundaries and a healthy distance from guy best friends— you HAVE to have a girl friend that is closer and who u can open up to on a deeper level, or things WILL go too far with feelings. Hanging out alone was definitely a cause of it, and I have so many regrets.

Felicity Hall

It’s easy to be just friends with guys if you’re ugly

Itty bitty Big titty

Lmao i didn't realize this was on those cringey christian videos until the intro song nevermind i'm gonna leave

Melissa Brink

I agree with a lot of your videos and what you guys live out. However I agree with very little in this one. I have always (even now at age 30) had a lot of guy friends. I don't think it's an issue to spend time with them alone , in public or even to share. I never hang out alone with any guys in my room. And usually try not to be alone at home with any guys either. And yes sometimes you end up having deeper feelings if you're close to a guy... but that can develop into a good relationship or eventually the feelings subside, I'm not hurt by or hung up on any of the guys I've had as friends over the years. No one needs to act on those feelings either. Secondly, I've found guys to generally be better friends. And lastly, I don't think girls should tone themselves down because people think it's flirting. I did this and it changed me and I wish it hadn't. It made me overly aware of everything I did and said and it's hard for me to really be carefree and easy going now.

Chioma Ogbonda

Thank you so much. Really helpful. God bless you all

Annie Mabry

You could make a cool handshake to greet your guy friend. Instead of front hugging all the time.

Blessy N

Does Julia have a YouTube channel. She's really wise. I want to learn more from her.

Saskia Cornish

Lol I love you guys! I am not a Christian but great video, thank you ?

Sasha Cole

Same .... all my guy friends told me that they had feelings for me. And I’m a natural flirt ?

Malligue B

So should I stop hugging guy friends as greeting/saying goodbye?

Reagan Perry

My best friend from kindergarten and not only is he my best friend but the whole family!! We share each others hardest times and it is great to get the other gender's perspective, I hang out at his house literally all of the time. Both of us are Christians and we view each other as brother and sister. So to us we could never see us being together because we have grown up together. We tell each other we love each other like brother and sister in Christ. So for the circumstances you were stating yes they should be cautious. However some people there is nothing behind it and when you grow up with them it isn't a big deal. But love your guys video and spreading the light of Jesus, you have really brought other things to my attention, so I thought I would just comment this to be informative!! Love you guys


I used to live in Utah where there were so many people of my religion. I made friends with guys left and right and I loved it! But now that I moved, the guys and girls aren’t very friendly and stuff anymore. Some are but some arent. I know the Lord put me in this position so that I can be stronger and that I can prepare for the real world out there. He put me here so that I could step out of my comfort zone and let my light shine. I pray every night to help me find some guy friends who I can actually look up to. Thanks so much for your advice I love you all so so much ❤️


I find it frustrating because any guy I get along with and actually like as a friend, they always end up liking me. And I never hang out one on one with guys because I don't want to give them the wrong idea. I'm not a touchy feely or flirty person at all. But I am friendly to everyone and enjoy talking to people. I'm always aware of how i interact with guys because I want to make sure I'm not doing anything that could be interpreted at flirting. But every guy I get along well with and can have a conversation with, every time it turns out they like me, which makes me think my dad is right when he says guys and girls can never be just friends. If a guy wants to be good friends with a girl, it's because he likes her.

But Paul, you and Jacob don't seem to feel that way, so I'm curious if you guys have ever found yourself genuinely wanting to be only good friends with a girl and had no interest whatsoever in her. Like you liked talking to her and maybe y'all texted or whatever, but you had no romantic interest or anything.


Short Answer: It's not possible; neither for women to be "just friends" with guys, or for men to be "just friends" with women.

To quote this video;

Girl: I had a lot of guy friends growing up, especially in high school. And it was shocking to me that a lot of them confessed that they had crushes on me. I even had secret crushes on some of them as well, but it never became anything more because we never shared our feelings until much later.

To quote C.S. Lewis;

"When the two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass – may pass in the first half hour – into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later..."

To quote Mark Ballenger;

"Friendships between members of the opposite sex, especially among younger people, are just not made to last very long. Eventually, one or both will catch feelings for the other, or get into a relationship/marriage with someone else, and the frienship from then on out just quickly dissolves. Because once a romantic relationship forms, there's no true way for you to remain close friends with the other without making your friendship and any relationship(s) you two have outside that friendship awkward and possibly ruined."

To quote Mark Ballenger (again);

"God has designed most of us with the need to love and be loved within a romantic relationship. This is why when friendships form between members of the opposite sex, it is virtually impossible for not a single member of that friendship group to not catch feelings for another person. Because a core of our being is a need for relationships, it is so easy to become interested and attracted to members of the opposite sex that we get along with and hang out with on a regular basis."

Reinhilde DeSmedt

Hi, I can totally relate to all these things you guys said! I have a question, because there was a guy (a friend of mine) who wanted to meet while we weren't that familiar yet and he's living in another country (I'm from Belgium, he's from the Netherlands). I thought this was strange for being just friends, so I tried to reject it subtle. I am an open, enthousiast girl and probably I gave wrong signs... A few days later, he asked it again, so I knew he hadn't captured the hints... I wasn't searching anything more behind our friendship, I just wanted to be friends, so I texted him that I thought he was feeling more than just friendship and that I wasn't searching for something like that. Right now, he isn't answering anymore and I feel guilty about being so straight forward. I regret saying this because I still want to be friends with the guy... Do you have some tips? Because I'm afraid that when I would text again, he would start hoping for more again... Thanks!

Artemis Hannah

I would also say that if you are truly hanging out with a male friend to keep in mind what you are wearing in terms of clothing and makeup and such. Guys definitely notice appearance and if you dress up every single time the two of you go out, he's most likely going to think that you are hinting at something. My sis was in this pickle and whenever she was telling me she was going out with a certain friend, I w started to notice what she was wearing and even advised her to dress more casual. She didn't like what I was saying and continued to do her own thing and eventually, she found out that this male friend thought that
1. They were dating and in a relationship
2. Tried to put his hand on her
3. Tries to kiss her
And she ended up very upset and ended up blocking him for good.

I really don't like saying that there are restrictions on clothing in this situation....but it definitely plays a huge part.

Edit: FYI this happened a long time ago now. It is no longer relevant. I just wanted to comment my observation and opinion. That is all.

Olivia Falasca

God has for sure taught me this lesson in the past. We definitely need to be careful of physical boundaries but also emotional I think that can play just as big a role. As a Christian woman I found myself getting really emotionally attached to a strong Christian guy older than me because we were both deep people and wanted to have those conversations. It ended up having to stop because I especially got to emotional attached to someone I wasn’t going to be in a relationship with and therefore those talks were becoming unhealthy. So I can really relate to and agree with what you’re saying . It really hurts when you get that’s attached and then have to break it off like that. So DONT LET IT GET THERE! ?

Alyza Kashif

Thanks!!!! I'm sixteen and all of this helps so much

Diego Arrechea

It's hard one. I have ideas but I'm stuck. I'd say enjoy the friendship but just any human friendship can take a turn for better or worse. Talking about it take away the good vibe but at the same time I think it is good to prepare. A good friend of either gender usually is someone meaningful. As soon some feels something that is a little off just say something.

Non participant Breakdown

The guy I want to be best friends with I would marry if he did want me. He knows I've ever had feelings for him. And I just want to not have desire for him and never loose him.


This video was so helpful guys!! It really helped to affirm some questions I had about being friends/hanging with the opposite sex. ☺️❤️

Tracie Betsch

I agree that guy and girl best friends relationships for Christians is not ideal. My best friend gets along better with guys than girls, but every single guy she has ever become very close to has approached her in seeking out more in a relationship eventually. It takes too much self control that we don't have. Question on physical boundaries, hugging guy friends. What if you go to a REALLY HUGGY Church?

Meg Campbell

Ah man I never thought I'd be in this position. I've never had any guys friends (I'm in my late teens) and just recently became close friends with my best friend's younger brother...and it was joyfully platonic for a while. But now I'm starting to catch feelings and I think he is too but I want to let him make a move if that's going to happen. BIGGEST PROBLEM: both of our primary love languages are physical touch, so we are pretty physical with one another (hugging, playing with each other's hair, arm around me while watching movies, just generally being very. near. to each other). This makes me feel very valued and love by him but I'm worried the physical attraction might blind me to the things I need to see clearly in him. How do I get up the guts to tell him I need (for my own spiritual clarity) to tone back the touch? Not because I dislike it but because I like it too much?

Samantha Gracia

Woah. Just subscribed ur channel right after watching this video and reading through some of ur other videos’ titles. This speaks to me soo much, thanking you for every words that have been said. I can relate so much w/ every words and most of the comments in this video (that responded to the “outgoing” personality). May we all always remember to be aware in everything that we do, for we are a representative of God, therefore we need to live just like He did; being wise and loving to other people! Thanking God I found your channel?

abelle bass

What do you do if a person who isn't building a relationship with Christ has feelings for you? To add context, what if you were always friends and you weren't interested them and over time they just continued to secretly like you? What if you you caught word from other ppl of their feelings and you made intentional strides to make sure they knew that you were not available and why. What if they knew that you were not interested in dating someone that didn't share the same values and you went out of your way to make sure if you did see this person, that it was strictly within a group context (we share the same hobby of ballroom dancing along with our friends)? What if that didn't secretly stop that person feelings? And what if ultimately somehow you realized that you somehow started to have feelings on your end as well? I truly could use some insight.

This person and I had a very serious and honest conversation about how I can not be disobedient to God by entering into a relationship that God isn't at the center of. It was a very sad conclusion as he confessed a bunch of things to me which Inhad no Idea how deep his feelings were. He even wanted to start getting closer to the Lord because of all of this (fundamentally he comes from a Christian background but doesn't seem to be actively pursuing a relationship with Christ).
I told him that I wouldnt want to be the person leading him to Christ while in the context of a relationship as his motive for wanting God wouldn't be right.

He said that if there is no chance for "us" than needed space and time to deal with the hurt. I give/gave him that. Fast fwd, he didnt stay away for very long. On occasion we all hang as a group at d,ance events and when we do he acts like he's ok and BUT ultimately he is still in my life and it feels the same as before.
He's never been inappropriate or pushed any agenda on me. I feel like he's been such a solid part of my life as a friend that in some ways it seems like I'm stuck.
He is extremely supportive, helpful and respectful and most of the ppl we know secretly want to see us together and have tried to get me to consider it. I care greatly for him but feel that I am now Fighting a feeling that seems to now be growing.


gerald kelly

Do a how to be obviously gay and be a married extreme Christian youtuber

Gold Snow

Stumbled across your channel and hah good to know there are more Christians out there (╹◡╹)

mark dwolf

It's called being prude.

HaveFaithInJesus 23

My Christian friend, he brings girls home if they need rides home from work. We all work in the same work place is that too far? Hence they’re alone in the car? What about him bringing girls home, is that showing he’s “out there”? Let me know your thoughts. He said he could bring me to church anytime I needed, or whatever but I haven’t let him bring me because 1 I don’t know his intentions and I don’t just want to be another thing to his “bringing girls places” or whatever hope you know what I mean

Manda Panda

Lol you guys are hilarious!!! And loved hearing your perspective. Gives me hope that guys are actually aware of this and are wanting to honor their relationships with their significant other by being very aware of their actions towards other woman. Thanks for sharing! Totally shared this with a friend too!!

Grace Advitiya

i feel a girl can be a best to a guy to a certain limit.if she is able to control her feelings for him then well and good,if not she must step back for her own good.

Soda Spider

What's wrong with falling in love with your friend? What is wrong with feelings? "Stuff your feeling inside." Some of this advice is always. "I want to be blameless before the Lord" What kind of nonsense is there where you would feel blame if something did happen and all this "pure" stuff. If you want to wait until marriage, that is fine, but this whole christian culture based around virtue signaling is so toxic and dangerous.

Oaktree 21

All my best friends are guys. No I don't sleep with them, since I'm asexual.

Grow Up With God Lady Home Bible Study Group

What if you want be he friend but you like he but he and I can not go no way at all he is 6 year old them me.... please help me ????

Jessica Borgogni

I like what Jacob is saying here, I definitely have a bubbly, helpful, sweet personality but then it gets me into situations where I feel like I should have handled it differently. Not that anything inappropriate happens, but definitely people get encouraged by it, and then Im dealing with people I didn’t actually want so close OR I end up catching feelings if the person is likeable, and only then I learn they are in a relationship. I suppose it’s a boundary issue but not sure how to prevent it.


Are you from Kentucky. If so I am to?


Lesbian. Problem solved.

Graham Cifelli

I love seeing gay representation on Christian YouTube!! ??️‍?

Renate Grobler

I am new to your channel and have watched SO much of your videos and you guys really gave me some things to think about! Thank you so much.

Beatrice Ogolla

This video just sorted me out. Thanks a lot

M. A. A.

See how touchy he is with him and how uninterested he is in touching her lol he is definitely a closeted gay

Just Sleepy.

Guy friends are the best♥️!

Mary Stahlschmidt

So yeah, God is definitely calling me out on this one. I have a REALLY outgoing (and hopefully fun) personality, like to the T to what you all were explaining and my closest friends are nearly all guys. My best friend actually is a dude. But a lot of my friends have come up to me and admitted to me that they have grown feelings for me and what not. Im also very touchy, huggy, genuine, open and deep but i really need to pull back bc im starting to notice that often times i can see my dudes' girlfriends getting uncomfortable around me. I treat both sexes with the same excitement and so those who really know me know my intentions are pure but even so i can tell that i need to cut back. This was exactly what i needed to hear to push me over the edge to actually walk towards that. This video was made for ME. Every. Word. The most convicting thing that i heard out of this vid was your sis wanting to "walk blamelessly" and it all of sudden hit me what that was supposed to look like and that now i am w/o excuse. Im so so thankful for you guys and finding this channel ❤? bless all four of you

Lauren Zyska

i think paul needs advice on how to be friends with a guy and nothing more


looks like paul and jacob are gay.


High fives man I reduce myself to high fives instead of hugs,if I'm not wanting to be more than friends. Is that ok ?

Dylan Mays

This is so cringey.

T.J. Armendariz

It’s funny, sometimes these sort of friendships (usually originating in the context of a group) can lead to feelings, leading to good relationships, and perhaps good marriages.

Stacy Rodriguez

"I love my guy bestfriend!" Had me wheezing. XD

Emppu V

Step one: be a lesbian

Paula Bangue

You can be best best friends with a guy. Your husband. ??
This is just a joke!


Or be bisexual. Problem solved ?


With my closest guy friend, we have the “unspoken” boundaries. Like he likes my bsf so that obviously the main thing. We only give hi-fives and sometimes hugs if one of us is down.



Tearose Gumaer

I get along much beter with guys, and i think its really good to have Godly guys around, we need good examples of what that looks like well " living in the world" . I have lurned that you should not be afraid to talk to your friend thats a guy, JUST becouse of what others think. You should also be honest with them and make sure your just friends. And if your friendships are important to you, then you can pray and ask the Lord to take awy sinfull feallings that would mess it up....we are one body of Christ and he would not want us to be afriad to talk to, sit next to or laugh with each other, we are ment to be in fellow ship. Men and woman. Fear is a lire, so if you are truly just friends then don't be afraid of lies that outher people think are true. But DON'T justify your self and be true to you, be true to God, he will help you.


I have a hard time at work with coworkers of same sex when a lot of shifts can be one on one. Definatley have boundaries and be brutal if you have to.

Laila Itemere

Whether it is ok to be friends with a guy depends on you. If your mature enough to handle it and not end up having feelings (or mature enough to address the person if you think they have feelings for you) then the friendship can be good and God can use the both of you to encourage each other in your journey with Christ.

Shadya Brown-Hall

A guy and a girl can be friends and I agree with Julia. Be direct about the atablishment of the relationship and know that this is your brother/ sister in the Lord. If you guys are close that's great but have boundaries. Like to go all hugging and being overly touchy. You can be a loving and encouraging without leading them on. Just be aware and treasure the friendship.

Jeslyn Gao

What if we find out we both like each other...

meghamala sarilla

Julia advises are pretty good ? Thanks

Brooke Melt0n

i personally dont believe in that. i wont befriend men unless i see a chance or like them. so yeah not for me. there always possibility of more going on

Chloe Smirh

I have a question so I am 15 and I have a guy friend who is the same age I have known him since I was 7 and he is like my besti one time we slept in the same room together (with one oher guy and one other girl) and me and him are totally best friends and he has been a little touchy and he tries to sit next to me a little to close is he like having a crush on me or what I a! Confused and need help I just don't want to hurt our friendship


I’m glad I found your channel! It’s so clean and yall are hilarious and fun to watch!

Phoebe Nelson

More of Julia pleease!❣️


This is a great video, but I struggle with the opposite issue. What if you are extremely introverted, with a lot of anxiety, social communication issues, and dissociation that makes it much harder to connect with anybody? I'm pretty sure I come off as rude to the guy I've liked for years, but I have no idea how to start a conversation with him. I know it's silly but I don't even know how to say "Hi" to him unless he greets me first. I avoid him a lot because I don't even know how to speak!



Jenell Soliz

ohhh yeah just convict me

Uncle Marty

Is this title a joke? Lol. These guys have to be trolling.

marijne janse

Oh boy I needed to hear this!!!! I have a guy friend and I realise I made some mistakes in the past. At some point I actually did open up to him and confront him about both of our actions cause I thought he was developing feelings and I sortof was too (but I was dating someone else, but that's a whole nother sadly messed up story) but turns out he had no feelings. Thankfully we were able to sortof work things out. This was over half a year ago, but I still struggle with it. We have so much in common. And he can be so flirtatious. I really need to remind myself to stay pure! But thank you for this video, a great encouragement really!

Leilani Pelefoti

It’s impossible (.)

infiniti alex

PUSH EM OUT!!!! :)

tara andes

See I’ve gotten myself into a pickle it’s been a long time since I’ve been friends with a guy and now I have a friend whose a guy and he wants to hangout which I also want to do and he goes out to lunch and stuff with his other friends that are girls regularly but I don’t want to step over any boundaries with him and make him think that I like him

Jamie R

Your friend is cute (:


Amazing!!! Many blessings!!!

Sweet Love

I don't know what to do in my situation... I live in France and I had a Japanese correspondant (like most japanese, he isn't christian) for a year. I am now in Japan for my studies, and we naturally decided to meet. I am not in love with him but I really appreciate him, and I'm really excited to meet him. To be honest he is one of the sweetest guy ever. I always thought we could be just friends but now that I know that we'll meet, I can't help but wonder if this won't end up into something else. He is not christian so I don't want to fall in love with him but at the same time I don't want to lose him, his friendship is precious to me... I don't know what to do... I'm so confused ?

Phoebe Nelson

It's Julia's gentleness for me ??

Riti Aggarwal

Women get mean asf tho :( I prefer guy friends because I can be more vulnerable around them. Girls bully me more easily, and I’m more susceptible to feeling insecure around them.

Macey Slabaugh

My friend thinks it’s okay to live with your boyfriend and sleep over at his house. She doesn’t get why I think that’s wrong. What is something I could say to her?


omg the start XD

Gray Beasant

Easy. Just don't think about guys like that and problem solved

Bob Bobbington

... you don't.


Being friends with Guys is simple, avoid 'em. Young guys want and need and are programmed to desire sex with you, how you wish to proceed is irrelevant. If you fail to learn this fact quickly, then its an unplanned time in hospital with only your mother for company - that's if your lucky - whether Christian or not.


I would agree, I am also pretty out going and I love giving people hugs but whenever my friendship with a guy progresses, like we have deep conversations, the first thing I tell him how I am feeling and that we are just friends and everything.. Set your own boundaries!!

Jimmy Burger

I’m just a random atheist commenting but God damn. Julia’s fucking beautiful. ??

Brian Richie

Use the Mike Pence rule. Never be alone with a woman that is not your wife behind closed doors.

Brighter light studios

Honestly I would say be cautious but also don’t be afraid to go and hang out with you guy friends I completely understand that I just kind of keeping it at a best friend area I do you have friends that are guys and I try and keep my personal space but thank you guys

Allison Laney


How to Be Friends with Guys

How to Be Friends with Guys17 Oct. 2017
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Tiffany DawnSubscribe 438 721

When I was in high school,

When I was in high school, I was so jealous of the girls who had all the guy friends. I just couldn't figure out how to be friends with guys! (Granted, part of my problem was that I turned every guy friend into a Mr. Maybe...SMH.) Here are 6 things I learned that helped me make some great guy friends! Love, Tiffany Dawn



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Comments (73)
Winnie 위니

I think it is true that it just a natural human thing to have a crush on friends all the time. And because somebody said it, it makes it so much clear and helpful cuz now I know that it is okay to do that, and therefore know that friendship will or has to go under some changes after marriage.
I think this way of thinking, accepting human behavior as it is, is so much better than denying it (for example, saying "it is awful to have crush on many people. Faithful people dont do that", which makes All human beings unfaithful) . Denying it just gets you nowhere, where as accepting human nature and weakness, of easily growing affection or anything, helps you to be real and free from guilt, and ultimately makes your life just so free and genuine and effective.

Thanks for the video.. I love your messages. Thank God I found you.. I literally thanked Him.

Sam C

You are soo relatable love youuu

Chill Alenton


Cat Duffy

This has been really helpful, thanks Tiffany! I know you have another video coming up but I was wondering if maybe I could get advice on how to deal with having a crush on the brother of a really close friend? Thanks and keep up the great work!!


Thanks Tiffany ♡ I needed this. So many times in the video I just thought 'wow, Tiffany is me!' Like with the whole Mr Maybe thing haha. My favourite tips are the be just friends in your mind and be yourself; I especially needed those ☺☆♡

Yeh Eunice C.F.

Tip#4 "Be just friends in your mind, too" is such a good tip for me. For me, it's hard to think like making a "friend" when I like a guy. I really doubt whether a girl can be normal friends with a guy since I was a teenager. And I think the main reason might be that living in Asia, interacting with "guy" classmates or friends can be made fun of as "you guys are having crush on each other." And that complicate things when there was truly just friendship between me and the other guy classmate. Shyness might be another issue. As a grown-up and looking for possible mate person now, I do think it's better to be friends first than being more than friends, however, I think my mind always tend to think the other way. Just wondering is there some good ways to do to keep the mind from working in the wrong direction?

Vanya Calderón

I'm More like the Girl Who turns every Guy into Mr.Enemy ....heh he he ? I change My Auroa When Guys start talking to me....but I really want to Be friends with guys.......believe me ITS HARD FOR ME

Summer Thorp

I have two guy friends
Their names are J.J and zachery

TAK Vlog Lover

The best you can do is approach us if you want to kinda be friends with us. We really love the confidence of the girl who has the guts to approach us!

Rachel Kemper

I loved the advice "If you want to be just friends, be just friends in your mind!" So good. I think it's so easy to be on the other end, too. When someone says they're just friends, I need to respect that and not say "But you 2 would be so good together!" Because that makes it harder to stay pure in their mind.

Jordan Kuck

I’m such a girl that turns every guy into a Mr.Maybe!!!??‍♀️


Haha. The most important thing is women need to be their authentic real self. The right guys will be attracted to you for the right reasons.

Tittle T

Don't do that


I literally have no guy friends. Someone help me

Cici Su

Hi Tiffany , your tips are so good. I need them. I really like you say: "If you want to just be friend with somebody, you need to be friend IN YOUR MIND." Oh man, I turn to temptation with guy friends a lot. It is so hard to keep a healthy relationship with guys. But God can help and your tips are helpful too. I am excited for your next video!!

Anna Breithaupt

What to do when you are very good friends with a guy who is very interested in you, but you have no interest in dating them. Like I really can't go there with him. I've told him and its broken his heart and yet still he reads into everything I do or say to him as a potential indicator of my interest. I've tried to go there, but I can't. I'm not going to just settle for someone who I know is not gonna make me happy.

Sam Valladares

It's better to be unliked by others as yourself than somebody else!

Menos Problemos

2:05 I find it so annoying to socialize with people who tries to fill my needs by avoiding their genuine expressions. Their personality get a twist on it, so I have to think in the opposite directional twist ALL THE TIME, and to relate to the person gets harder than if the person's just weird (cuz face it; individuality is weird).

MissOnionAvengers Beginn!

I been indoor so long and hardly socialis and only have few friends ,kinda losing myself ,i dont even know myself?? busy with work sort of stuff ,im already forgetting how to talk to people or socialising??

Agape Aureus

This is so good and I wholly agree!

oluwaseun adeshina

Oh the way I resonate with this video?❤. Thank you so much, I've learnt so much??


Old guy here, 58 years old, with timeless advice: Get interested in the things that interest him. If he like fishing, go fishing with him, learn about it, enjoy it. Works every time. Works the other way too -- I got into things that my three-decade wife liked, and it means we enjoy lots of the same things. Elementary.

Lynsey Baker

This is so helpful! Thank you Tiffany!


I want to be best freind with someone but maybe he hate me??


What are some tips to not view every guy as a Mr. Maybe?

Mat and Est

Love your hair in this video!! ? such a fun take on this topic!! I was never the sort of person who had lots of guy friends, I always just had a lot of friends who were girls! ? this was super interesting to watch, and I totally agree it's always good to make sure we are able to have a lot of conversation starters for all sorts of people! - Est x

Re M

The FİRST video on Youtube which has no dislikes

Meggie Morris

Hey Tiffany! I wanted to reach out and ask about guys at school or youth group and how I can start conversations with them. They all seem to be in their clics and it’s sometimes hard to reach out and talk to people that I don’t know (I'm pretty shy at first when it comes to meeting new people especially guys.) I've never been one to have many guy friends if I do it’s usually just one or two.. How can I change that?

Kaylee Marie

Im a girl who likes memes. Im just hella awkward

Priest Morrison

Good episode

Chris Sumrall

Shit dont work like that in the real world

Amarissa Henning

I naturally did all the things she mentioned growing up, but found it to be quite negative! Since I was able to get along with guys and talk about all kinds of things with them, girls were very intimidated by me, and started to shut me out. Consequently I started to hang out with the guys even more! The guys got very confused because no girl had ever been able to click with them that well, so they all developed feelings for me. Soon I was seen as the class flirt, and the boys who couldnt handle the rejection (of being just friends) dragged my name even further through the dirt, spreading roumors and lies! Be careful when you make guy friends in small groups, make sure you have a balanced relationships with guys and girls! Xxx

Your Christian Advisor Nolwazi

I always wanted a true guy friend it's just that I'm scared they'll end up changing or I'm just scared maybe they think I'm lame or something,,but I'm mostly scared of why they think about me ?

Rosie Perez

OMG I relate so much to you! I thank God for your videos! God bless sis

Rachel Mae

I suprisingly don't have a hard time talking to guys. Especially if I know that they are taken, otherwise I turn into that "I could be with you ?" type girl. ? The most difficult thing for me is when I get very comfortable with them. I start showing my true personality which I've started to realize could come across as realllly flirty, because my personality is very outgoing. My personality tends towards the teasing side which could be taken as flirtatious. Please help ?

Alyza Kashif

THANKS I'm 16 and havent talked to a guy my age since 5th grade and this is really helpful

Cesar Eyzaguirre

Women and men cant be friends. Its impossible. Men will always want to have sex with her. PERIOD.

Stefani Joanne

I agree with it all except the last . I guess it’s different for all, but I am married and still call up my guy friends and meet for lunch just as I do with my woman friends. I put them all in the same category. If you have to worry about catching feelings just by having a guy friend, your marriage is not that strong. My husband loves that I have guy friends and we can all hangout together , but if One of my guy friends is in town and wants to grab food and my husband is at work I’m not going to make it a point to say no, my husband would tell me to go grab lunch! My guy friends are like brothers to me.

Gwen Riddle

Here’s another tip too: don’t ask them if they’re single. Just be FRIENDS! Dont try to get in their pants. Lol

Claudia Okyere-Fosu

So helpful, thank you ?

Kate Imm

I personally like the idea of a relationship starting with a friendship, but this was super helpful because sometimes it's hard to not think of them in a relationship way ? This is really good advice for keeping your eyes on Christ and not on whoever is going to be your future husband. Thank you Tiffany! ?

Olivia R.

This is random, but your name is so pretty. :) <3

fred Nil

Very good advice.

mylifeisamess do i found i friend that is a a loner..

Mike Petty

Open communication is so useful.

XxCookieGenuisxX Yes

This is soo helpful you are just like me I could relate so much in this video ? you are really pretty btw??


most of the girls who hang out with guys normaly hate the energy that comes with groups of all females.


Awesome vid Tiffany!! ❤
To recap, the tips were:

1. Learn how to talk about all different topics.
2. Be Yourself!
3. Invest in MEANINGFUL friendships.
4. Be "Just Friends" in your mind too.
5. Have open and honest communication!
6. Realise the friendship will change over time ~


Ooh, girl. This is so good and CONVICTING! Dang! Speaking straight to me!

itz sarah

When I was younger it was easier for me to talk to guys. Now I usually get shy in front of them. I don't know why, but I'd really like to be in a real friendship w a guy for once. My problem is that I don't know what to talk about whit them, because I fell like they won't have interest on what I'll say or even get bored, you know just cause I'm a girl ?

Nilisa Arkward

Tiff you seem so much stronger on the video. Maybe it’s just you trusting in God- it looks good! ☀️❤️

kimbers 123

Great tips. Plus I totally agree with the change after marriage

Menos Problemos

Friendships are natural. Do what comes to your mind and naturally it should be fine.
If your mind gets a don't-do, think of a so-what-to-do before you act.


just be attractive. simple

Emma Jones

Love this video Tiffany! Am I missing the book link in description? :)

Joiful Family

In college I was so good at being sister and friend with guys idk what it was about me. I was just really sweet. I had all races of male friends and I would attract females to them as well. I was the best wing woman ever. I miss the way I used to be I was just so innocent and friendly and laid back. Now that I’m older and trying to find a boyfriend it’s kinda harder. I’ll try to find the old me

Madarász Anna

Tiffany! I've loved that sentens "Where your brain's going, your heart will follow..." It was really wise and thank you for it!
I would like to add a point in your list: Boys are our brothers in Christ. I really respect their future tasks, like be a husband or a dad. I try to see them in this way, "OK. I don't want to break your heart, because it is stored for another girl, not me." Sometimes it's really hard, beacause I have to always pay attention what I say or do. Our hearts are sinful, nobody needs another heartbreak.

kenza. ala

I’m very very intimidated by guys and I’ve never had a guy friend in my whole entire life.... I don’t know what to do to not have this thing lmao

Chuck McGee

When listening to your video I realized a lot of what you said is the same for men being friends with woman. I was raised with 6 sisters so I was much more comfortable with friendship with girls then guys. Interesting video. God bless.

Storm Knock

That third point is so good

Andrew John

You can be friends with men if 1) They don’t find you attractive 2) The guy is gay 3) The guy is happily married (and you are too, or in a relationship) 4) The guy literally wants a platonic relationship and told you that. If the guy still likes you sexually it’s not really a friendship.

Candace M

Girl, I really enjoy your Videos! I could talk with you for houurrsss ?? I always had this struggle around guys with knowing how to be nice and smile and laugh around them without them thinking I like them. I realized that sometimes people will want to be liked so much that they take the littlest gesture as flirting. I'm guilty of this! It's sad ?

Imani Dennis

So I saw this and I was like I NEED THIS! I have guy friends. Oh Lord help us


The first few lines hit me right out, treating guys as "maybe" hahaha

kat sanchez

I love how honest and real your videos are! ??

Cherished by God

I used to get crushes on every guy I got close to.


You are so full of life, Tiffany! Thank you for speaking life into us and sharing.

Karina Lopez

Thank you so much for sharing! A lot of good practical wisdom :)

Anna Potts

I really like your hair ? I have a really hard time with believing that guys will want to spend a long period of time with me. I just feel like I'm not very interesting sometimes and then I get self-conscious and just psych myself out.


In my case i had so many hobbies i always find stuff in commun if they talk about videogames or work or movies or music or politics or religion. We just talk about stuff. I think im an intresting person and i have a lot to talk about. One barrier for me is when i like a men that doent know anything.
?‍♀️have u seen the news ?no
?‍♀️music ?kanyewest
?‍♀️sports? soccer futbal basball hockey basketball
Sorry some men obly know sports and nothing else. They cant even keep a conversation is like a zombie

Skwidwerd Q. Tentacles

Thank you so much! I’m still in middle school and I needed this!! Also, oh my goodness, you’re so cute!!


feel bad for those guy friends that didn't get to dip that tip

Cristy RAT

Half my friends are guys........I’m my self with my guy friends and any other friend?

The First Guy To Ever Make A Friend

The First Guy To Ever Make A Friend13 Apr. 2020
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Hi there hello good news I have chosen you as a person that I want to hang out with and warn when large animals are nearby.

Comments (100)

I saw many Bears in the backround

Red Ruby Gaming

1:46 bear

Marinette- dupain-cheng

Dominiq? Did you learn to swim?!

Kaden Medley

They had doctors and wives before they had friends and common understanding of bears.

Matt Naganidhi

1:48 2:53 BEAR!

Robby Genschel

"What's up is there a bear?"
"No, I mean if there is, he's very well camouflaged."

That's pretty much me when someone asks me if I have any allergies lol
"Not any that I know of."

chicken guy

Love the bear in the background


So the internet was invented before the concept of friendship in the Ryan George Cinematic Universe.

Gaming Panda



No one told me life was going to be this way
clap clap clap clap

Unathi Makalane

The F.R.I.E.N.D.S them song????


Wait, so there’s phones and the internet but noone has made a friend before? Damn, the lore of this show is confusing

kempy games

1:46 what a friend

Larry Walsh

Please do a video on the first man to discover toilet tissue.

Jackpott 99

1:47 theres a bear in the background

Edit theres also a bear at 2:55

* Erin *

Love the idea that the internet existed before the concept of friendship

L S Covarrubio

Adstronaut: breadgasm

Braden R

If you’re so bored you’re listening to a bread making podcast then earbuds are the “yeast” of your problems

Link -kun

People who dislike this video is introverts who can't relate. I hate this video


you get married before you make friends so THATS the solution

killwalker 2019

so many great jokes in this one!!

Ethan Checo

I love how he put that friends pun LOL

Jarrod Alston


Jaxsyn Johnson

anyone saw the bear


1:46 2:53 BEAR!!!!!!!!!1


2:54 look in the background i dont think they will be seeing each other again


Thats how i interact act with people i just meet its also the reason i don't have friends

Jack R

So we're not going to address the bears in the background?

Enter text here

I ate a muffin while watching this
Edit:it was a good muffin

Rakan Mutlaq

if they are 2 people then that means it should be the first two people to become friends


I just got the hanging out joke

Chris Pitts

2:53 PAUSE there is a bear....

Nobody Studios

Don't you mean guys

Tomáš Káral

1:09 that's a sign...


That F.R.I.E.N.D.S reference was amazing

Brennan Walsh

1:48 there actually is a bear lol.

Illuminaudi Animations

1:47 "Don't mind me just gonna walk behind this guy and disappear."

Lord Thennek

That bear was so well camoflauged


wow, this video's URL has the F word. Nice going first guy to ever make a friend.

Zeroburb YT

I think that happened to the 2 first animals

Lionclan Warior

Introverts trying to be social be like:

Katherine Linneweber

At 1:47 bear walks past

Silver Spider

this right here is fantastic writing.. just amazing fast wit..

marc sanpher

Do the first person to die

Clueless Potatoes

The friends reference ?

Oscar Pabon

me: oh no


1:47 B E A R


Who else had a Mr.Beast Honey ad?

The True Yuu

That god damn reference I loved it.


"What are the odds that we both had crocodiles bite our penisis" ive gotten to the point of this channel where that doesnt even surprise me

StylingandFitnessing with Tyson Jack

No one told you life was gonna be this way ????

Shovel Operator

The first two guys to make friends

yunan the observer

Im genuinely curious as to what historical events happened to lead the existence of the internet without the concept of having friends.

Emma McBride

I love how he mentioned the internet,meaning friends were invented after the internet.

Matt Naganidhi

2:46 so internet was invented before friendship?

Alyssa King

“I’m married”
“Where’s your ring?”
“ Aw f*ck”

Rishi P

hahhahahaha If this did not happen, .F.R.I.E.N.D.S. might have been called .M.A.T.E.S. ?????????????

Ay-Ay Ron

2:53 is just one of the bears


if ur waving without your control then you should see a doctor


Merc HG

I saw a bear in the background. my life flashed before his eyes


The bear circling lol

Merrik wright

Over a million views, and less than four hundred [email protected] This, now this, is an achievement!


1:47 bear

Hibito Fukuta


Yehia Waleed

Phones are before freinds ??

Elijah and Elana



They look they same..


who else saw the bear at 2:54 and 1:47?

Nelsie Geografo

Friendboat... XD

Hena and harsh

Anyone else notice the friends theme

Ryan George

Hi there hello you can subscribe if you like.
Furthermore, I am on Twitter and Instagrams:

Juancho Royal XD Juancho Stisin

That one bear in the background?

The Glitter Fartz And the Geckos

You should do the first person to feel love
I’m guessing he would feel like his guts r gonna explode for no reason


I’m still working to be like him

Hrishi Potter


hound gaming

The friends theme tho ?

Sean Wisniewski

To the best of my understanding friends are people you enjoy being around, have fun with, and sometimes love platonically if your really good friends.


There were so many bears but no death





Donovan Slater

Am i the only one who saw that bare

Tom Munday

69k pog likes

Jes Coz

1:48 look at the background very closely like the comment if you see the thing

Count Dain

I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

JM Animations

They could probably have more friends if they had a sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it

Mortan Á. Mørk

but..... wouldnt it be the first guys


Are his eyes PURPLE?!



Odds & Ends Skyblock

3:08 YES YES YES! F R I E N D S Reference

Melissa Clemons

Kept waiting for one to get mauled by the bear

Louis Lieuw-A-Len


Stephen Reece

“Nobody told me life was gonna be this way”
“What was that about”
“Oh four flies all just lined up”
Huh so that’s why they do that clap ?

The Random Thoughts Of An Insignificant Stranger

That sounds cool, where do you buy this fri end boat


the friends reference was hilarious

Minha Pessoa

the F.R.I.E.N.D.S reference lmao

Jaou-ShingAn !

69K likes on this video rn


wouldnt they technically both be the first people to make friends?

Seraph O. Storms

Let's get on the friendboat.



thegolden tymander

when i saw a bear i screamed: BEAR!!!
and pointed to it on the screen